Quick Update

Work is getting slightly more manageable but I'm exhausted at the end of the day...

But the independence and the added self-esteem is so worth it! I think it's really unfair how women of earlier generations had to ask their men for money or get a weekly/monthly "allowance"... I mean, yes, men are responsible for supporting their families but the whole giver/receiver role is a little archaic... And men never say "thank you" for the million services women provide them (making tea, serving dinner, running the house, entertaining their families).

I'm getting really big now... I guess it was inevitable but I don't think I was prepared for the changes :-P... Big butt, thick thighs, swollen feet and of course, the protruding tummy! Hopefully will be worth it in the end but my respect for my gender increases every single day :)

Still Swimming

Whew! I barely get time to gobble down lunch these days and I'm so beat, I just go home and crash... Staying at the 'rents again so I get home-cooked food from Mom plus a free back massage from sister dearest :) Yayy!

Mr. F's traveling and partying in Thailand :-P, I could be bitter but I don't want to make myself sick, so just trying to keep myself busy and happy. I got my bonus today :D. I think I'll spend it on a ticket for Mom to visit her sister in Canada.

Backaches are getting worse and baby dear is rather active Mashalah... Hoping everything turns out ok Inshalah.

I'm learning all about financial ratios and doing lots of number-crunching... it's pretty cool but do miss my Environment/Energy work...

Ciao!

How to be an Extrovert

So my feedback from my boss during the annual appraisal was that I need to be more loud and assertive. I wish I didn't have to change my core personality but I guess that's one of the requirements of the job :-p

So, how does someone like myself, an introvert at heart turn into an extrovert? I decided to google it, and found the following:

"Extroversion is the act, state, or habit of being predominantly concerned with and obtaining gratification from what is outside the self. If you want to get more gratification from the world around you, here's how."

http://www.wikihow.com/Be-an-Extrovert

- Give yourself permission to act without reflecting beforehand (No, really! They might just fire me :-p)

- Notice people. Try to get them to smile back at you. Greet people, even strangers (Yeah, whenever I do that, I get hit on... by uncles, security guards, salesmen... even other colleagues... I'm cool with aunties though :))

- Engage people in conversation whenever possible. Keep the conversation chatty, focusing on the first thing you notice: "I like your shirt," "Where did you get that haircut?" or "It sure is cold today! (So, I go up to my boss and say, "I like your shirt!"... ummm, how is that professional?! p.s. I actually do know a couple of "extroverts" who actually say stuff like that to the boss :-p)

- Try to get other people to notice you. If they don't, keep talking until they do, or find someone else to talk to. Don't analyze your conversations; just move on to the next one (See above)

Warnings:

• Please don't try too hard. Go at your own pace and don't try to change yourself and be a completely different person, because that is impossible.
• If you are naturally very introverted, efforts to be extroverted all the time may leave you exhausted and unfulfilled.

Okay then!

I like this one's take:

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2005/09/how-to-go-from-introvert-to-extrovert/

On High-handedness

It really bothers me when a colleague speaks to me in a high-handed manner...

I'm not your subordinate and you're not my boss. If you want something done, there's a polite way of going about it. And please don't expect me to drop everything else to help you meet that deadline, especially when you plan on taking all the credit yourself!

Work Politics

So I'll interrupt my travelogue to whine a little... Although, for the record (Alhamdulilah), I'm grateful to have a decent job and a pleasant work environment!

Mr. F was promoted and transferred earlier this year and I remained in the original department. He, being pretty senior is privy to all sorts of information (even about my department) and he's buddy-buddy with almost everyone. It's getting a little claustrophobic for me because all my friends/colleagues are also his friends and they're also a little in awe of him (since he's a lot senior) so I can't be as free/open as I like.

Also, Mr. F knows how to handle office politics pretty well and he keeps trying to advise me whereas I like to believe that the world is a fair and happy place, people are genuine and good things will come to those who wait... and I also don't like being told what to do, preferring to "learn by doing".

I'm still without a boss and my CEO can't figure out where to place me since my field is very specialized (Environmental Engineering/CSR/Energy Policy)... Sometimes, I feel like I should've just majored in Economics/Finance like everyone else and become a corporate woman :-P

Weekend~!

It's Saturday! Hurrah! I get so tired these days, it's not even funny. Weekends are a blessing :)

So I have a new boss and he's pretty weird. He just goes on and on and on about random things, his voice, his mannerisms and his condescending attitude are seriously beginning to irk me! He has this super-annoying habit of coughing to the side when he's on the phone and he explains every tiny little detail to me like I'm 5 years old! Urrrggghh!

I seriously need to get a new job... I've been doing mostly nothing for the past few months (well, I'm sort of studying for the GRE) but professionally, there isn't much for me to do, especially in Pakistan. It's pretty frustrating at times!

I'm planning to go watch "Meray Brother ki Dulhan" (My Brother's Bride) though I can't understand why they couldn't just call the movie, "Meray Bhai ki Dulhan" :-P

What would you do?

Chutti time :) man, it's been a long week!

So people, here's a dilemma... Mr. F's traveling to India in September and to Spain in October. I wanna go too!! I could take 2 weeks off except, I've already used up all my leaves for the trips to Lahore (a couple of days here and there)...

Cons:

- Bad impression on co-workers and boss if I take unpaid leave and vacation for 2 weeks when there's work to be done :P

- Could affect performance...

Pros:

- I get to see India and Europe!!!!

- I have a Schengen visa (and visas are hard to come by when you have a leafy green passport)

What would you do?

Tuesday

Life's been quite busy lately. I barely get time to eat, sleep and shower! Work for me ends around 7-7:30 and Mr. F comes home around 9... At that point, we're too exhausted to do anything but crash. Bijli's become quite a pain... for the last two days, the electricity comes for an hour and goes for the next two hours... The UPS has crashed..

We had visitors from Lahore this past weekend. We took them to Quaid-e-Azam's mazaar and Frere Hall and we were planning to go to Port Grande today... However, I had Sunday brunch at Koel and dinner at Olivetto... but the kulcha sandwich at Koel didn't quite agree with me... I spent Sunday night throwing up and now I'm in bed with a high fever and tummy ache :(

Mr. F was ultra-sweet though, he took me out for a drive and made me eat cake rusk because I couldn't keep anything down... Call me sappy but I was always one for being (gently) overpowered by a masterful man :p

Late night whine-fest

It's 11:36 pm, I have work tomorrow and I can't fall asleep for the third night in a row... I have huge bags under my eyes and I've been attending random people's shaadis and valimas... And yes, I feel like whining right now...

My boss has gone to Salzburg :'( Mujhe bhi jaana tha... boo hoo hoo... Also, I think I'm getting the flu and I want someone to pamper me and pet me and put me to sleep... sigh

Plus, husband dear is going to the US and Spain and I'll be languishing in Karachi... (double sigh). It's pretty unfair though... by the time I'm senior enough in the company to go on business trips to fun places, I'll probably/inshalah have kids and I wouldn't want to leave them so I'll be the nice mom and stay at home... why are women so self-sacrificing :s ?

Shamsi Farm

So our firm organized a "day-out" for employees at Shamsi Farms... Twas quite a painful experience!

We arrived at office at 8 am and got into the buses (without airconditioning!). Humidity was high and I would guess temperatures to be around 45 C... People were sweating and emitting BO :-P ewwww...

They'd hired 2 chalets, one for the men and one for ladies... except, no one felt like getting into the dirty water or going on the water slides. The boats weren't working, there were no paddles and it was too hot to do anything but curl up in bed with a book and sip iced lemonade.

Rather than team-building, the event seemed to be aimed at getting people to annoy one another and strain already-fragile nerves.

It was also my first company trip without Mr. F to entertain me :'(

Slowly, I'm coming to appreciate him more and more... lol

Someone Didn't Have Breakfast Today

EMAIL

Dear Mr. ****a,

Please review the attached FIDIC Agreement. Our European Consultant M**&**H requires this format to be followed. Please advise if this is in line with our company policy.

Thanks,

Regards,

Gaia

RESPONSE

FIDIC Contracts are internationally used as a base for negotiations-- our "Policy" will allow us to use any contract reviewed by Legal--however to send a FIDIC one for "review" without first understanding what its for and what our "clients" (ie yourll ) want is a waste of everyones time-- suggest yourll go thru it and see if it fits your commercial need and then discuss it with us--most of the contents of most agreements are common sense matters anyway and im sure thats one commodity E***** is not short of !

Ouch!

I'm trying really hard to stay away from newspapers, radio and television... I'd rather live in denial than succumb to depression :-o.

Most Pakistanis are probably aware of the terrorist attacks on Pakistan's Naval Base. It was bizarre... everyone was at work whining about Monday mornings while a full-scale battle was raging on a few miles away...

Work is rather flat these days, there isn't much to do... I think my supervisor's tired of me going up to him to ask him to give me work every day :-P

Mr. F's moved to a new floor in the same building... I part from him every morning in the elevator and he comes home around 9... I guess that's normal for most corporations, but it'll take me a while to get used to... *sigh*

When should a woman act like a man?

http://edition.cnn.com/2011/LIVING/04/05/when.to.act.like.man/index.html?hpt=Mid

Back to the Grind

A shrine in Multan

Gaia is officially back in her cubicle... This morning, I was an hour late to work! And it was all thanks to Mr. F (*insert annoyed smiley*). Mr. F's being transferred to another department and I'll be left behind...

It's probably better for both of us but I have mixed feelings... We'll be more independent professionally but I will miss walking past him whenever I get up for coffee :-| Plus, I can't keep on eye on him :p and he'll be working late.

I went to Ehsanpur by car from Multan... it was surreal. What really struck me though was how primitive village culture really is... During a conversation with one of the lady teachers at the primary school, it kept running through my mind that my handbag from Hub leather cost more than twice her monthly salary :(

Government school teachers are paid Rs. 4,000/month ~ US$ 47/month

My Work Schedule

My organization couldn't find work for me, so I've been assigned to a CSR project. I'll be working near Muzaffargarh on the rehabilitation of flood victims. We're building a sustainable Model Village with grey water harvesting, solar-based off-grid electrification, drip irrigation and education, health and livelihood interventions. Except, we still haven't managed to finalize the layout :-p. Yesterday, there was a 40 minute discussion on what to do with the livestock because people in rural Punjab prefer to keep their animals in their homes and cow-dung on the streets will not look pretty... :-)

My thighs are expanding since I'm sitting in my cubicle all day and by the time I get home, it's dark and I'm too lazy to go and exercise. I've also started drinking tea with half a cup of sugar :-p

Koob Shai bi haleeb wa sukkar katheer

An Unforgettable Experience (that I'd rather forget...)

This past weekend, our firm decided to sponsor a visit to the plant for all management employees and their families. So at 7:30 am on Friday morning, Mr. F and I arrived at the office which was the designated meeting point. There was a "Bachelor Bus" for all the single boys and a "Family Bus" for ladies, husbands and children.

I think Mr. F secretly wanted to be with the bachelors but he curbed the impulse and sat with me instead (awww....). There was a pregnant lady in our bus and 11 kids under age ten and of course, kids need to go to the loo, eat, drink, cry, sing nursery rhymes and entertain themselves while adults try to sleep/doze/read/listen to their ipod :-p

We drove past banana, sugarcane and date plantations. There were 5 stops for namaz and loo and we finally (finally!) reached Ghotki at 8:30 pm. Our hosts had planned a "hi-tea" for us (they were expecting us at 4:30 pm) but we made it in time for dinner.

We were staying in a quaint little colony with beautifully manicured lawns, tennis courts, a tiny grocery store, health clinic and a primary school. The colony ladies had baked cakes and made sandwiches and really made us feel welcome. Mr. F and I stayed in the bachelor accommodations while other families were hosted by colony families. It was rather chilly and rained constantly. I was ill-prepared in lawn shalwar kameez and flip-flops but Mr. F offered me his Hah-vad sweatshirt and I grudgingly accepted :-p

We toured the plant on Saturday morning and played sports in the afternoon: Plant-people vs. management. We lost pretty badly... I think the last time I "played" a sport was on Kinect :-P.

After brunch on Sunday, we hopped back on to the bus for the twelve-hour journey back to Karachi.

Overall, it was a wonderful bonding experience... you really do get to know a person when you suffer/safar together during a 24-hour round-trip bus ride with inadequate bathroom facilities and no control over noise levels. You also come up with innovative ways to entertain yourself and your friends when your laptop/ipod/crackberry runs out of charge.

We resorted to playing Dumb Charades :-)

Events

Mom's birthday was last week :) I got her a black leather handbag and sister dear made strawberry cheesecake. Mashalah, my sister's a better chef than I am and she's thirteen!

Bro got our mom a Persian kitten. He went to a lady who'd advertised in Dawn's Advertiser under Kennels, Pets and Livestock and spent Rs. 5,000 on the cat. Mom wasn't too happy :-p so he decided to keep it himself. The kitty's been named Aiko which means "little loved one" in Japanese (*my family is strange/slightly kooky*).

Went to speak at NED yesterday... It was quite an experience and I was super nervous (literally trembling/shaking in my chair) but it went well Alhamdulilah. The students called me "Madam Gaia" and I was like "-" ???! Moi? Madam? Lol! But of course, I played the part and acted grownup and dignified.

Tomorrow inshalah, our company's taking us to visit a power plant. It's a pretty long bus ride and I'm probably going to take along a few dvds to entertain myself.

Life in the Pakistani corporate sector is quite the soap opera... Now that I've been here for over a year, I've begun to take heed of the subtle nuances, the thinly-veiled jibes and the overall pettiness of people.

What really irks me though is when men talk about women... They'll be polite and flirty to her face. The moment she walks away, they'll comment on her dress, hair, makeup, rate her attractiveness/intelligence, they even have nicknames for their female colleagues :-P. It's no wonder why so many Pakistani women tend to cover up at work and develop a defensive "attitude".

I never thought I'd end up in this sort of working environment being rather soft-spoken, introverted and generally preferring the company of a few close friends than "networking" with every random dude and dudette :-P

I still aspire to be:

But I guess God had other plans... :) I might just end up like:

Scary!

Friday

Yesterday, I was wearing a newly-acquired outfit from the Generation sale, a dull gold/black which I thought made me look older, more mature... Mr. F threw a fit and said I dress like his mom :-{

As a farmaan bardaar (obedient) wife, today, I'm wearing bright purple with a red border :"p.

The new analyst joined today. Seems like a nice person but it's super-awkward coz she's reporting to Mr. F and I don't think anyone's told her we're married... tough HR decision.

Any volunteers willing to write an essay for me about why I'd be a good candidate for an Environmental Economics program??

Another 2 resignations today and a couple more expected at the end of the month. With the CEO gone and not enough work to do, company morale's pretty low these days.

Today, I went to Gizri during lunch break and bought flowers: orange roses and orange and white gladiolas. Then I went home, arranged them in a vase, changed the sheets, prayed dhuhr and returned to work.

Need to start working out... I can feel my thighs expanding under me when I sit :p

Did you know?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-11492897

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/10596344

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/8487106.stm

http://old.thenews.com.pk/10-01-2011/ethenews/e-24887.htm