Memsaab Gaia

I've gone from having absolutely no domestic help a month ago, to suddenly acquiring 3 new people to help me "manage" during the last few months of pregnancy. Mr. F and I feel like guests in our own house! I've become more conscious of my dupatta and reluctantly abandoned my baggy t-shirt riding up my tummy for a loose flowy kurta :-p. I even feel awkward sitting together in front of the tv!

At 8:00 am, there is absolute mayhem. Mr. F and I are trying to get ready for work amid knocks on the door asking what to make for breakfast, whether to iron the blue shirt or the white one and apologies for accidentally knocking over one of the souvenirs on the shelf.

When I come home from work, I'm besieged by complaints. Ali (chowkidar plus cook) vs. Shabana (dusting and ironing) and Maryam Maasi (cleaning lady) pointing fingers and having hurt feelings all around... *sigh*

Thank you :)

Dear Mr. F,

I know most girls appreciate flowers, chocolates, jewelry and pretty things... but you made me much happier by being truly loving, caring and darling ;)

And although you're quite a manly man, it really warmed my heart.

In case you're wondering... just what did Mr. F do?

He cleaned out and rearranged my cupboard :D... It's one of those tasks I don't relish and even though I'm usually quite neat and tidy, the cupboard regularly returns to its unkempt state every fortnight or so...

I basically dumped everything on the floor and had a minor meltdown but Mr. F (very kindly) donated hangers from his own cupboard and helped me locate dupattas, missing socks and perfume caps... and then arranged everything nicely :-)

I feel blessed Alhamdulilah...

White Hair

I'm officially old now... I crossed my 25th year in October and I'm now a mature adult having studied and worked abroad, gotten married and managed an independent household. The last couple of things have probably been the most challenging... Marriage is no easy task and you learn on the job; nothing can prepare you for it! In my case, Mr. F and I hadn't really known each other that long (around 6 months of chaperoned dating) but that was much longer than my parents knew each other (a few phone calls and glimpses at various community weddings).

The advantages of marrying someone significantly older based on my experience:

- Other person is relatively more mature, less likely to have "breakdowns" and experienced enough to deal with minor crises that occur almost daily ("Mr. F, I ummm... locked the car keys in the car and I'm now stranded in Gizri :'(, I managed to get really nice flowers though!")

- You're not struggling financially; instead of saving and generally being careful like most young couples, I get pampered by Mr. F, eat out at nice restaurants, take impromptu fun trips and don't feel *too* guilty splurging on something occasionally

- Other people take you more seriously; this I've found to be true for most married people! While my single friends are sometimes relegated to the "kid's section", older adults now expect me to join them at their table (I can now make polite small talk with aunties and uncles between the ages of 30 and 100 from all segments of society), children's admissions, maasi/ayah/driver woes, Pakistani politics and the moral deterioration of Pakistani society are generally popular topics (sometimes, I wish I was back at the kids' table :-p)

P.S. I'm loving Google's theme today http://www.google.com.pk/ :-)

Happy Birthday Mark Twain!

Lahore Again

Mr. F and I left for Lahore on Friday evening and had McDonalds burgers from the airport for iftar :). Things have been rather bleak... mom-in-law dearest has Dengue and she's in hospital. Haven't really been doing much except entertaining visitors who come to pay their respects. Waisay, I don't really get the whole concept of having a dozen people accompany you to the hospital... Not only do they get in the way of the doctors and nurses but end up creating a commotion in the hospital and disturb other patients.

I'd be traumatized by having 6 attendants speaking in none-too-soft voices and commenting on how haggard I look when my head's aching fit to burst.

People have been asking my if I'm expecting :P. Usually, the conversation goes something like this:

"So, it's been a year since you got married? I nod, yes. So, how far along are you?/Planning a baby yet?/Are you using contraception?/What methods?/You know, there's a new designer pill for people who want to conceive really quickly"

:P

So, happy news! I met up with a fellow Pakistani Princetonian after 3 years!!!! Twas amazing :) and we had a fine time reminiscing... *Sigh* I miss Princeton!

Sleep is Precious

My husband is (sometimes) the kindest, most patient man in the world. Yesterday, I had another tantrum/sulking session and he bore up quite well :-p.

I'd been cranky all evening and he was on the phone until 10... Then, he went to sleep at 10:15 while I stayed awake fuming and fretting and making myself ill. I decided to go and sleep in the other room because watching him sleep (innocent as lamb) was making me mad :-p. So I took myself off to the other room and tried to catch sleep... After an hour of tossing in vain, snacking on pistachios and chips and finally, eating raw sugar, I think I finally dropped off :-p

Around 1:30 am, Mr. F came to see where his wife had gone... He came and woke me up asking if everything was ok ("Hey, are you ok?" + endearments + lots of concern), Gaia wakes up all groggy and super-mad because now she's wide awake (again!)... Stayed up till Sehri while Mr. F read the Quran (he knows I wouldn't attack him if he's engaged in something like that :-p).

After Sehri, Mr. F gets ready to go back to sleep and I couldn't hold it in any more... many tears and a mini drama scene later, we both managed to sleep only to wake up again at 7:30 to come to work...

Yes, I know it sounds dumb but I had to get it out of my system

Tuesday

Life's been quite busy lately. I barely get time to eat, sleep and shower! Work for me ends around 7-7:30 and Mr. F comes home around 9... At that point, we're too exhausted to do anything but crash. Bijli's become quite a pain... for the last two days, the electricity comes for an hour and goes for the next two hours... The UPS has crashed..

We had visitors from Lahore this past weekend. We took them to Quaid-e-Azam's mazaar and Frere Hall and we were planning to go to Port Grande today... However, I had Sunday brunch at Koel and dinner at Olivetto... but the kulcha sandwich at Koel didn't quite agree with me... I spent Sunday night throwing up and now I'm in bed with a high fever and tummy ache :(

Mr. F was ultra-sweet though, he took me out for a drive and made me eat cake rusk because I couldn't keep anything down... Call me sappy but I was always one for being (gently) overpowered by a masterful man :p

Lahore Again!

Karachi closed down on Thursday after some psycho politician made some really antagonistic remarks about the Mohajir community...

I was expecting a mini-civil-war to break out or a situation akin to what happened when Benazir was shot in 2007, but the MQM leader "saved the day" and told the protesters to go back to their homes... Peace resumed.

I had a flight that evening and couldn't make it to the airport on time... after a series of delays, I finally (finally!) made it to Lahore on Friday evening... Lahore was beautiful! lush green and tranquil after the the chaos that is Karachi. Went to Yum (:P), it's a Chinese/Thai restaurant in Gulberg but Karachi's Fuschia is way better... Also tried English Tea House which is more "English" than the English themselves... They have pictures of the Queen prominently displayed on the walls and waitresses wearing frocks :p...

Mom-in-law dearest asked me no less than 8 times over a period of 2 hours when I'm going to have a baby (preferably a boy) because the last three grandchildren have all been girls... *sigh*

Late night whine-fest

It's 11:36 pm, I have work tomorrow and I can't fall asleep for the third night in a row... I have huge bags under my eyes and I've been attending random people's shaadis and valimas... And yes, I feel like whining right now...

My boss has gone to Salzburg :'( Mujhe bhi jaana tha... boo hoo hoo... Also, I think I'm getting the flu and I want someone to pamper me and pet me and put me to sleep... sigh

Plus, husband dear is going to the US and Spain and I'll be languishing in Karachi... (double sigh). It's pretty unfair though... by the time I'm senior enough in the company to go on business trips to fun places, I'll probably/inshalah have kids and I wouldn't want to leave them so I'll be the nice mom and stay at home... why are women so self-sacrificing :s ?

Happy Anniversary!

Yesterday was our first wedding Anniversary :)

We celebrated the entire week by being extra nice to each other, exchanging small gifts and re-creating our initial "dates". Mr. F got me jewelry and flowers, I got him a watch and a perfume. Brother dear gave us a painting (our first "real" painting from an art gallery!) and sister dear make a cake and a cd of our favorite music :).

Usually, when you're really looking forward to something, it's ends up being a downer, so I was really hoping our anniversary wouldn't be a complete anti-climax. Alhamdulilah, it went well and Gaia's a happy wife... (I hope Mr. F's a happy husband).

Here's hoping and praying the next year is even better than the first and brings us closer (inshalah).

Almost a Year...

Around this time last year, I was busy freaking out about my wedding... I'd returned from my Bachelorette trip to Abu Dhabi and my parents were pretty stressed out with the wedding preps.

A year later, Alhamdulilah, I'm a lot more calm, generally wiser (at least I like to think so :)) and a lot more assertive than I used to be...

I've grown to love my husband and I think we've both gotten accustomed to our quirks and idiosyncrasies. My faith is stronger today... I'd agreed to this marriage more out of blind faith (that it was the right thing to do) than anything else and Alhamdulilah, things have worked out for the better. It could have worked out otherwise as well and for that, thank you Allah Mian.

Dear Mr. F,

I know I still don't let you read my blog, but I want to say, "thank you" for being a great husband/companion and for keeping all the promises you made to me at the time of our wedding. Thanks for not abusing my trust, for taking care of me and for being patient with me when I'm being unreasonable/difficult.

I've learned a lot from you over the past 11+ months and I'm looking forward to spending the rest of our lives together... hopefully, we'll manage to keep it fresh and fun and not fall into the marriage rut...

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I'm trying really hard to stay away from newspapers, radio and television... I'd rather live in denial than succumb to depression :-o.

Most Pakistanis are probably aware of the terrorist attacks on Pakistan's Naval Base. It was bizarre... everyone was at work whining about Monday mornings while a full-scale battle was raging on a few miles away...

Work is rather flat these days, there isn't much to do... I think my supervisor's tired of me going up to him to ask him to give me work every day :-P

Mr. F's moved to a new floor in the same building... I part from him every morning in the elevator and he comes home around 9... I guess that's normal for most corporations, but it'll take me a while to get used to... *sigh*

Tuesdays

So the past week was quite eventful... Alhamdulilah, the curtains are finally up and the new place is beginning to feel like home :").

We attended a valima (wedding party from the groom's side) in North Nazimabad on Sunday evening but the dinner was more like a scavenger hunt (people were quite literally pushing others aside, heaping their plates with food and then running back to their seat lest someone try to steal kulfi off their plate). I was serenely watching the madness until a six-year old nearly spilled his seven-up on me :-P

Mr. F moved to his new office yesterday. I was rather busy all day so I didn't really miss him too much... but he stopped by my cubicle twice and left me a note with toffees (awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww).

We need to buy side tables, another sofa and a new dinner set and inshalah we'll be ready to entertain...

When Mr. F and I are out in company, people (usually aunties, at times, uncles too) often ask me what I cook for my husband (*note, people assume that I cook for my husband and that I have a repertoire of recipes under my belt :-P).

I shrug and smile and nod towards the husband and say (quite truthfully) that my husband is a better chef than I am and that we have a cook/housekeeper since we both work full-time. This response is usually met with raised eyebrows and comments about "the way to your husband's heart is through his stomach"

funny...

Not

Thankfully, dear Mr. F understands that his wife works the same number of hours that he does and does not expect a five course meal during the weeknights. On weekends, I do try to pamper him and make his favorite dishes/dessert :)

Also, my teenage sister has a school formal this weekend and I need to take her shopping for a modest (non-trashy) yet fun (not old-fashioned) outfit. We've combed all the big stores but I haven't been able to find anything :(

Any suggestions? It has to be in Karachi..

Another Weekend Goes By...

We have finally shifted to our new house... except, it doesn't quite feel like home yet... We're waiting for curtains, a phone line, cable, internet and new furniture. Hopefully, inshalah, everything will be in place by the end of the week.

It's funny how the absence of technology gives you so much extra time to just focus on each other... On most weekends, Mr. F and I usually are sprawled in front of the tv or on facebook :p. Sans UPS, we even managed a couple of candle-lit dinners :-)

We attended an aunty-dinner on Saturday. This is where aunties dress up and brag about their childrens' accomplishments to the other aunties. The ultimate accomplishment is your kid getting into Karachi Grammar School...

Some aunties paid Rs. 18,000/month on tuitions for the entrance test only to be disappointed when the admissions were announced.

Not having any school-going kids yet, I am usually not able to contribute much to these conversation and so, I look on with a slightly amused, yet interested expression on my face... as if I'm eagerly storing these gems of wisdom for a time when I'll be in these aunties' shoes.

I can hear the tinkle of the wind chimes and the gentle splash of the waterfall... Goldfish swim to the surface for a gulp of air and toads hop around the pond... The tiny pocket-lawn is blooming with flowers, cool sea breeze caresses my face... it's good to be home :-)

We spent most of the weekend shuttling between the old house and the new, moving clothes and furniture, cleaning up and settling in. Inshalah I hope our time spent here is tranquil and barkat-wala :-P (some Urdu words, i just can't substitute :")).

Thanks Mr. F for taking care of everything and making it a smooth transition for both of us.

<3

To Lahore and back...

I traveled on Air Blue for the first time. It's definitely more organized than PIA but it's like comparing your old college t-shirt (faded and worn, yet, soft and comfortable) with your new formal shirt (stiff and smart but needs to be broken in). The service was slow and the snack wasn't too exciting (and yes, I am one of those people who enjoys PIA food :"P).

Lahore was pleasantly cool when I landed on Friday evening. I think the humidity in Karachi makes it seem warmer than it actually is... we didn't need to use the airconditioner in Lahore but the electricity went every two hours!

Went to Veranda Bistro for dinner. It's a relatively new diner in Gulberg and I ordered spinach ravioli with basil and ricotta but it wasn't anything to write home about... dessert was decent but rather pricey.

Taught my nephew Electricity and Magnetism and surprisingly I remembered 95% of what I'd learned back in school... I guess being the nerd paid off :) (and it actually makes me happy!). We also did Layers of the Earth in Geography and studied some Islamiat (which is now called "Islamic Studies").

Our flight back home was delayed 3 hours! Back at work now and totally don't feel like working :-(

I think I'm ready for a proper vacation...

Moving

Inshallah, we (Gaia and husband) will soon be moving to a new home. The last nine months in our two-bedroom flat have been memorable :). I'll miss being able to walk to work, come home for lunch and climb three flights of stairs every day.

The neighbors have been absolutely amazing! I'll definitely miss Aunty M (who sends me red velvet cake with cream cheese icing), the chowkidars who guide me when I'm trying to reverse in the parking lot and the multitude of maimed and injured stray cats who keep the area mouse-free...

Soon, we'll pack the knick-knacks into boxes and call in the movers for the heavy items. I'm looking forward to the move though... the apartment always felt like it was more Mr. F's than mine since he'd bought all the furniture and everything was already in place before I moved in... The new place will definitely be more feminine and Gaia-ish :-p

But the move comes at a price... we'll both have to wake up half and hour earlier to get to work on time and reach home half and hour later...

On Babies

My brother-in-law and his wife just had a beautiful baby girl :). Mashalah, she is adorable (they sent us pictures within hours of her birth thanks to digital technology).

Sadly, Mr. F's family doesn't celebrate the birth of daughter... there's no mithai distribution, no gushing praise for the mom, no excited telephone calls to extended family and friends :( When it's a boy, they go all out and exchange lavish gifts and host a large dinner for the baby... It's pretty sad in this day and age especially among the educated classes. I'm not quite sure what it will take to change this mindset but I hope my daughter (if and when I have one inshalah :)) will be welcomed in a way similar to her male counterparts.

Also, MIL dearest mentioned (none too casually) that my nephews and nieces are now hoping for a cousin from their Chachi (Gaia)... How does one respond, politely?

The better team won the match but I love Afridi for saying "sorry" to the nation (I got all teary-eyed when he said that *sniff*).

So, Turkey ain't happening this year because the husband can't get leave and I really wanted to go before the summer tourist season :-(. I will try to squeeze in a trip to AD though (inshalah, dear God please, please, please let it happen).

Yesterday, I was really really really mean to Mr. F and I feel awful... The problem with being married is that you start having expectations from the other person, when you're just friends, it's all about being there for someone but not expecting anything in return. There are no defined roles and you have the freedom to do more or less as you please (without hurting someone else's feelings). So anyway, he's traveling this weekend and I'm missing him terribly and I'm wishing I could unsay and undo the stupid things I said and did last night.

He forgave me and was sweet and caring but I felt like I didn't deserve it... I'll have to spend the next week and a half being extra good and making it up to him.

*sigh*

An Unforgettable Experience (that I'd rather forget...)

This past weekend, our firm decided to sponsor a visit to the plant for all management employees and their families. So at 7:30 am on Friday morning, Mr. F and I arrived at the office which was the designated meeting point. There was a "Bachelor Bus" for all the single boys and a "Family Bus" for ladies, husbands and children.

I think Mr. F secretly wanted to be with the bachelors but he curbed the impulse and sat with me instead (awww....). There was a pregnant lady in our bus and 11 kids under age ten and of course, kids need to go to the loo, eat, drink, cry, sing nursery rhymes and entertain themselves while adults try to sleep/doze/read/listen to their ipod :-p

We drove past banana, sugarcane and date plantations. There were 5 stops for namaz and loo and we finally (finally!) reached Ghotki at 8:30 pm. Our hosts had planned a "hi-tea" for us (they were expecting us at 4:30 pm) but we made it in time for dinner.

We were staying in a quaint little colony with beautifully manicured lawns, tennis courts, a tiny grocery store, health clinic and a primary school. The colony ladies had baked cakes and made sandwiches and really made us feel welcome. Mr. F and I stayed in the bachelor accommodations while other families were hosted by colony families. It was rather chilly and rained constantly. I was ill-prepared in lawn shalwar kameez and flip-flops but Mr. F offered me his Hah-vad sweatshirt and I grudgingly accepted :-p

We toured the plant on Saturday morning and played sports in the afternoon: Plant-people vs. management. We lost pretty badly... I think the last time I "played" a sport was on Kinect :-P.

After brunch on Sunday, we hopped back on to the bus for the twelve-hour journey back to Karachi.

Overall, it was a wonderful bonding experience... you really do get to know a person when you suffer/safar together during a 24-hour round-trip bus ride with inadequate bathroom facilities and no control over noise levels. You also come up with innovative ways to entertain yourself and your friends when your laptop/ipod/crackberry runs out of charge.

We resorted to playing Dumb Charades :-)