The Rise of the New Groupthink

And just when I was trying to become Ms. Popular, this: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/15/opinion/sunday/the-rise-of-the-new-groupthink.html

Wedding Crashers

The Palm is a popular venue for wedding-related events in Karachi. Since it's walking distance from our house, Mr. F and I decided to walk to our mutual colleague's valima rather than taking the car. I was wearing a bright green and gold zari sari with high heels. Mr. F was dandy in a white shalwar kameez.

The road was riddled with potholes but we managed to make it to the venue without getting splashed. Mr. F and I walked into the main hall only to be taken to separate sections. The even was gender-segregated so I found myself in an area full of aunties. I kissed the groom's mom, smiled at the sister and seated myself at one of the tables towards the stage. Since I didn't know anyone, I decided to call a friend in another timezone to occupy my time.

Five minutes later, I get a text from Mr. F: "Gaia, I think we're at the wrong function, meet me at the entrance"....

Oops!

Meanwhile, Mr. F had spotted another colleague, Gul, at the entrance of the adjacent hall. We decided to follow him inside until Mr. F realized that the groom was wearing glasses and had a beard... wrong groom!

We finally made it to the correct venue where our friends were gathered... *thankful sigh* my heels were killing me :'(

The caramel crunch ice cream made it all worthwhile :-)

Crazy Busy Weekend

On Friday evening on the way back from work, I requested Mr. F to drop me off at my parents' house as I was feeling rather unwell and missing mommy. He complied, but reluctantly... When I called him a little while later to come pick me up, he made a mean joke, so I decided to stay the night (hoping he'd miss me a little).

Unfortunately, Mr. F thought he'd play the game my way and decided to ignore me completely :-P when I showed up at our apartment the following day.

On Saturday afternoon, we were invited to the beach and of course, Mr. F and I had to behave like the happy couple. So I plastered a big (fake) grin on my face, Mr. F turned up the volume on the radio and we drove to Hawksbay listening to Bleeding Love in a reasonably cheerful mood. To the Mr's credit, he didn't bring up "the night before" and pretended everything was normal.

We held hands, posed for photos and played the part well... On the way back in the car, I was silent. Mr. F mistakenly assumed that the storm had blown over and tried to lighten the mood by making polite small talk.

*I usually find this rather endearing* but I didn't want to let him off the hook that easily so I maintained the frosty facade. We came back home, got ready in half an hour and went to a photography auction at the Indus Valley School followed by a boxing game (Kinect) and coffee with friends. By then, we were too tired to enact a Bollywood scene... so we went peacefully to sleep and woke up refreshed and happy to be together again.

On Sunday, we went to the Literature Festival at Carlton just in time to hear Daniyal Mueenuddin. He is soooooooooooooooooo cute! *sigh*

http://www.newyorker.com/fiction/features/2008/12/01/081201fi_fiction_mueenuddin

Bombay Dreams

Went to see the show last night thanks to dear SIL who managed to get free passes :)

It was pretty decent for Karachi theater, a bit amateurish but enjoyable none-the-less. The soundtrack is by A.R. Rahman but it was all playback music (a far cry from live orchestra at Broadway :-p). Halfway through the play I saw someone who looked a lot like one of my classmates from A'Levels ... During a break, I texted him saying, "Hey, there's someone in the play who looks a lot like you" , he replies, "It is me stupid!" lol!

Since this is Pakistan, the girls were wearing body suits under their blouses and the dances were pretty conservative... All the local celebs were there too including Humayun Saeed, VJ Mahira, Javed Sheikh and a bunch of others who showed up really late and got VIP treatment.

So, for those of you who are in Karachi, it's at Arts Council, 8 pm. Tickets are Rs. 1,000/head on weekdays and Rs. 1,500/head on weekends.

Just now, I feel like eating fresh Dole Pineapple...

I really really really want to go to Turkey this year... and do the Eurotour

WTF of the Day

Colleague YH: "My wife isn't feeling well today so I think I'll go home early..."

Gaia: "Okay, take some flowers for her... it'll cheer her up :)"

YH: "Good idea! Guys never think of things like that... lesbian couples must be so happy... knowing exactly what their significant other wants..."

Gaia: ":-0"

Lahori Eid

I spent my first Eid in Lahore... Mr. F was super excited and I guess the excitement was contagious :) We landed at 4:45pm but the bijli went and the conveyor belt stopped running so we had to wait a whole hour for our luggage to arrive!

By the time we got home, it was time for iftar so we sat down to break fast with the khandaan (Mashalah, Mr. F has 8 siblings... with wives and kids in tow it's quite a full house). When in Lahore, I'm Gaia chachi (chachi = father's younger brother's wife). As one of my nieces informed me, I'm still quite "new" coz I live in Karachi and we haven't really spent a lot of time together yet... I'll become purani (old) when Mr. F's younger brother gets married and his wife moves in :p.

I'm really not used to kids... when I was little and guests used to come over, I'd hide behind the door so I wouldn't have to meet them :S. My nieces and nephews are quite the opposite and scramble to sit in my lap and ask for hugs and kisses and candy... lol.

On Eid day, all the men dressed up in white boski shalwar kameez and went for namaz (Mr. F looked handsome :))... Meanwhile, I got dressed and went to say salam to mommy-in-law but I was told to go and change since I was looking too "simple". I went and put on lots of gold jewelry, 2 sets of bangles, red lipstick and my bling jora... Also straightened my hair and got a "puff"... I think I looked more Punjabi than Punjabis themselves... Mr. F was rather amused to see his usually somber wife looking like a heroine from some Punjabi movie... He said I needed to put on a few kilos to look the part :P

After a breakfast of murgh-cholay and sheer khorma, Mr. F took me a-visiting... I met quite a diverse selection of Lahoris... mostly though, the ladies talked about clothes and make-up and babies while aunties hastened to give me advice on how to manage the house and the husband. Now that I'm married, I get to sit at the married aunty table (when did that happen :0).

I had gelato at Cosa Nostra Pizzeria, fries at World Fashion Cafe, lunch at Hardees and dinner at Fujiyama (the one in Lahore is wayyyyy better than Karachi's Avari) and yes, I probably put on a couple of pounds :p

If I were to move to Lahore, I think I'd turn into a mem-sahib; eat all day and go to Uzma's and C'est la Vie on weekends... oh and pop mundas :p

Moti ho ke aana (Gain some weight when you visit next time)

The above advice was given to me by Mr. F's phuppi (paternal aunt) as I was leaving for Karachi. I hastened to tell her that I'm not on a diet and that I love food but she gave me a sly smile and pointed to her ample tummy and mimed a pregnant belly... Understanding dawned... aaaahh... right. So basically, she was trying to tell me (not very subtly) that I should begin procreating asap.

During my 9 days in the lovely city of Lahore, I was asked not less than 6 times when I'm planning to have my first kid... and I was meeting most of these people for the first time :P. The first couple of times, Mr. F chimed in with "jab Allah ki marzi" (whenever God wills) since the wife was dumbfounded... lol.

Another huge cultural difference between Karachi and Lahore is the concept of privacy. In Lahore, it's considered perfectly normal for people (family, guests staying over, servants) to barge into the room of a newly-wed couple at odd times during the day (and night) without knocking or announcing their presence. This can lead to some major awkward moments and poor Mr. F's become paranoid about locking and bolting doors :"P

Work Life

I've got my annual performance appraisal today... Praying it goes well Inshallah. My supervisor asked me to highlight my accomplishments over the last 6 months... Ummm, yeah, I would if I felt like I had actually accomplished anything (besides finding a husband and improving my Urdu and becoming up-to-date on Pakistani fashion :P).

Mr. F has taken to calling me at work... He sits ten feet away but we try to maintain office decorum and so continue to ignore one another at work but every time he dials my extension and I pick up the phone, the whole office suddenly goes quiet trying to listen in. The uncles (men over 50) are especially interested in the office romance, so much so that the one who sits behind me told his client to call back later so he could enjoy the show... LOL!

Yesterday, I walked in at 9:00 am to find a box of Ferrero rocher on my desk and it made me go "awwwwwww". Lol, I think I'm falling for the guy. Someone also got me an Iqbal calendar and I quote:

Shahadat hai matloob o maqsood o momin

Nah mal-e-ghaneemant, nah kishwar-e-kushaai

Anyone care to translate :) ?

Tips on How to Increase Love

Since my personal life is officially public, everybody feels obligated to shower me with advice; from aunties who've been married for 26 years to the catering manager of our office cafeteria. Case in point:

Yesterday, after wrapping up work, I walked past Mr. F's office and ran into the catering manager (Gul bhai). I smiled, said "Khuda Hafiz" to Gul Bhai and continued walking towards the elevator with a polite nod to Mr. F who was watching me out of the corner of his eye but pretending to be absorbed with work :P. Gul bhai couldn't help himself and said, "Beta, aap paas ja ke theek se khuda hafiz bolein, iss se muhabbat barhti hai" (Dear, you should go close to him and say good-bye, it increases love). Ummm... LOL! I could have smacked him, but I ignored him and kept walking...

Mr. F found it hugely entertaining :P

Of Donkeys

I love The National :)

NEW DELHI // Plans to remove all working donkeys from India’s capital in a bid to clean-up the streets ahead of next year’s Commonwealth Games have left hundreds of families fearing for their livelihoods.

Across Old Delhi there are an estimated 2,500 donkeys and mules usually carrying bricks to construction sites or removing concrete rubble from demolished buildings. They are led by their owners or labourers employed for the day to tend to the animals.

“MCD officials surveyed the area recently and we have been asked to remove all donkeys and mules and clean up the stables because, they said, they don’t look good in a beautiful city,” said Saleem Mohammed, who keeps two donkeys in the Turkman Gate stables and is the son of 76-year-old Yusuf Mohammed, the union leader.

For Mohammad Nazar, who owns two donkeys and one mule, the eviction cannot work. The 50-year-old believes that as congestion in the old part of the city grows and roads and lanes becomes narrower, construction companies will come to rely more on the donkeys and mules.

“Eighty per cent of construction sites in Old Delhi are not adjacent to bigger roads,” he said. “Inside most of the narrow winding lanes and by-lanes even mini vans cannot enter to bring in the bricks [to a construction site] or take out the rubble. Donkeys and mules cannot be outsmarted by any other mode here.

“As the population is growing, roads and lanes are getting narrower. In this situation I think the utility of the donkeys and mules is in fact increasing in Old Delhi. You don’t need them in well-planned modern parts of the city where most construction sites are connected with wide roads. But you need our animals in Old Delhi, where congestion is higher.”

Awkward Defines My Life :S

So I've been mia for while... Things were pretty "busy" at work. The other day, I was getting coffee and this guy walks up to stand next to me, "Gee, meray khyal main humara email pe raabta hua hai" (I think we've communicated via email before). I respond with a blank stare... "Aap pehlay kahan kaam karti theen?"(Where did you work before?). I told him I was in Abu Dhabi and in the US before that. "Acha? To aap ke pass green card ho ga?" (Oh, so you must be having the green card (residence visa for the US))... LOL!!!!! I mean, really, how desperate do you have to be?!

On Friday, I went to Roasters for lunch (packed with office people and aunties because the pious uncles had gone for namaz :P). Try the Mushroom chicken and Quesadilla... yummy! Once upon a time, when I was a fob, I used to ask for Quesadillas without cheese... but then my kind-hearted American friend took pity on me and explained that quesadilla was Spanish for "cheese tortilla" :P.

In other news, our cat gave birth to four more kittens! It's her third litter this year :P.

Corporate in Karachi

So I'm working for one of the big multi-national(ish) organizations in Karachi and it's been rather interesting. I have three bosses: B1 is 24 and just one level senior to me (we went to the same school, small world, eh?), B2's been in the firm for the past 12 years and likes to boss me around. He likes giving me a ton of work at 5:30pm (just when I'm getting ready to leave!) so that I end up staying till 8... and B3 is the cool Aitchisonian guy from Lahore (I'm slightly in awe of him but he's fun when he isn't stressing out about one thing or another).

My dad never raises his voice, most of my professors were soft-spoken and so were my previous supervisors, so the Pakistani male baritones took some getting used to :P. Once, B3 was stressed out and addressed me in a slightly harsh tone... it brought the tears to my eyes (I know, I know, I'm a wimpy, weepy girl) but thankfully, I managed to control myself before the all-out weeping began... LOL.

Oh, and I'm the new "weird kid" in the office... I bring my own coffee mug (instead of using the communal ones used by everyone else) and I also have a little green glass that I wash and use instead of the plastic ones :P. Also, I drive to work when all the shareef girls come with drivers. The other day, one of the uncles asked me, "Beta, aap ko dar nahin lagta?" (Dear, don't you feel scared?). Ummm... not really, not after being stuck in NY Penn station waiting for the subway at 2:00 am with lots of sketchy characters around.

We have lunch in a cafeteria... the menu isn't very creative, featuring things like daal chawal and qorma while I'm more of a pizza/sandwich person. I miss our Spinney's cafeteria in AD...

I'm also trying to find a balance between work and personal life. I mean, we do hang out as a group and go out for lunch together but I don't want to get *too* close to my colleagues (as in having them over at my place for dinner/hanging out after work). It could also get awkward since they're all guys (and single) and I'm a girl and this is Pakistan after all...

Anyway, since it's Eid tomorrow, B2 and B3 have both gone to Lahore and I'm freeeee :D hurrah!

Eid Mubarak y'all!!

Updates

Sorry, I temporarily dropped off the face of the earth but I had so much going on that it was hard to put everything down. It was one of those times when I felt like I needed Dumbledore's pensieve to siphon off my thoughts and then examine them at leisure :P.

So last Thursday I got an eye-infection and it was one of the worst I've ever contracted. Since it's barely been a month since I started work, I didn't think it would be nice to take time off, so I went to work with my huge Abu Dhabian sunglasses (I used to wear them back in AD because they kept the dust and sun out of my face). Well, this is Pakistan where people can't help themselves and absolutely have to comment. Here are just a few that I had to endure:

"Gaia se kaho ab raat ho gayi hai" (Tell Gaia it's evening now)

"Aap to female James Bond lag rahi hain" (You look like a female James Bond)

"You look like Chaudry Shujaat"

"We're not in the Matrix you know?"

One lady made me take them off just so she could get a good look at my watery, bloodshot eyes :P. I mean really people, I'm obviously wearing them for a reason!

On top of that, last week was more hectic than usual and I had to attend a conference at Sheraton with the glasses on... :P. It's really awkward being the only girl at work because all the guys are talking guy-stuff and I feel left-out :'(. Plus, there's noone to go to the bathroom with...

Next post: Trip to Thar where there is no electricity, no fresh water and people burn cow dung for fuel.

It's one of those things about being back in Pakistan; you're always surrounded by family and friends or just random people ringing the doorbell (the maasi (maid), the maali (gardener), the chowkidar (guy who opens the main gate and lets people in), the line man or your great aunt's cousin whom you haven't met in years). It's a great feeling most of the time (alhamdulilah) but I miss the times when I could just shut myself away from the world, take solitary walks by the Corniche whenever I felt like it or blast music to my heart's content without having to worry about the neighbors' afternoon nap...

Mum's leaving for a short trip next week and *I'm* in charge :O. Just last week, I went shopping and very conveniently slammed the car door shut with the key still in the ignition... oops! So, I called my dad on his cell and asked him to bring me the spare key (without telling my mum of course, otherwise I'd be banned from driving alone ever again :P). Thank God for indulgent fathers :). I hope nothing untoward happens, otherwise "ana sa-ashuru bil khajl jiddan jiddan"

And here's a story that made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/8299780.stm

In the end...

... it doesn't even matter

So, I was probably the second geekiest kid in my school. I had a non-existent social life in the last two years of high-school and I got into a prestigious Ivy League university where I spent the best four years of my life. But, now that I'm looking for jobs back in Pakistan, I will end up with the same remuneration package as someone who went to Preston University. I guess I should've just bunked classes and bought a fake degree or married a rich businessguy at eighteen :(

Mera Wajood Paak Hai

BRATZ CHATZ

I can't believe I'm doing this but I'm reading my sister's Bratz series :). Bratz are a group of teenage girls with pouty lips and hooker-ish eyes. Here's an excerpt:

PRETTY PRINCESS: Yo, Sash.
BUNNY BOO: I'm here. Hold onto your seats, cuz I've got a scoop as pretty princess sez.
KOOL KAT: What did U find out frm Koby?
BUNNY BOO: It's not what I found out frm Koby it's what I found out while he wuz OUT!
ANGEL: Spill!

"Prowlin' round with feline grace,
Kool Kat's the one that's settin' the pace.
Sleek and sassy, always dressed to kill,
She's the girl who makes my heart thrill."

Ummmmm, I'm probably old-fashioned but I think I preferred the more refined and gentle Barbie :")

Of Mehendis and Shaadis

I've been busy attending friends' mehendis and shaadis in Karachi. The arrangements are more lavish and creative every time. Yesterday's mehendi theme was bright pink and baby blue (it used to be green, orange and yellow eons ago but I guess times are a'changing!). The girls from bride's side were wearing peshwazs (long flowing frocks with skinny trousers underneath) and the girls from the groom's side were in ghagras (long flowing skirts with heavily worked blouses). The guys on both sides wore kurta shalwars...

The invitation said 9:30 pm so my friend and I arrived around 10:30 pm, thinking we'd be fashionably late. Alas, NO ONE was there except for the bride's siblings and immediate family... so we sat around and listened to bollywood music playing in the background. They played this song



at least 5 times in the space of an hour. For anyone who's watched the movie, this song is played when the girl (Zubaida) is being forced to marry someone against her will and tries to commit suicide by shooting herself in the head with her dad's gun :p Now, why would you play that at anyone's wedding?!

At long last, the groom arrived at 11:30 pm singing and dancing with his friends... It was funny though, because he had to stop and pose at multiple intervals for the video and video guys made him repeat the moves a couple of times :)

The bride arrived at midnight in a doli (a wooden box/carriage decorated with flowers carried by the bride's brothers and cousins). The groom was polite enough to come down from the stage and receive her (some grooms are lazy, and remain sitting, waiting for the bride to come to them :p). After that, they had a couple of dance performances but the diyas kept blowing out because of the wind so they had to do without. At that point, I was exhausted and my hair was getting frizzy thanks to the humidity, so I went home, had a sandwich and went to bed :)

To hug or not to hug?

So I had an awkward "meeting" today :p. The time and place was arranged by the moms since we didn't want to do the traditional chai at home and at 6:30 we arrived at a popular club near the sea...

The cafe was pretty crowded and we were meeting the prospects for the first time, so it took a while to figure out who they were (thank God for cellphones!). They'd sent us a picture, but I doubt anyone actually looks like their prospect pic in real life :p We found a quiet corner and made small talk for a good 15 minutes while aunties and uncles seated at nearby tables gave us knowing smiles. Ana embarrassed jiddan!

I determinedly gazed at my hands while the prospective aunty gave me a once-over. The small talk continued and I remained the silent, nice girl :p. Half-way through, it started drizzling so we all got up and moved to another table. When we got up to leave, I experienced a bit of a dilemma... to hug aunty goodbye or not to hug? I didn't want to appear too effusive/clingy since we were meeting for the first time and in all likelihood, I probably wouldn't see them again... At the same time, I didn't want to appear rude/stuck-up... In the end, I just sort of smiled and did the air-hug (hugging without actually touching).

Awkward!

Tis Warm in Karachi

After yet another "adventure" I arrived safe and sound in my beautiful home city :) I'd decided to keep all of Saturday free to say goodbye to everyone since my flight was booked for Sunday evening and I'd have all of Sunday morning to pack, clean and wrap up things (or so I thought). Al came over from Dubai and we hung out at IKEA. I was planning to meet some people for dinner later that evening.

At 4:30 pm, my mom called to say hello and confirm my travel plans. She told me to make sure the flight was for the 5th and I assured her it was confirmed but she told me to check again just to make sure... (mom's intuition). I didn't have my ticket on me so I went up to the Etihad kiosk and asked for a confirmation receipt. The person at the counter said I wasn't listed... (Gaia has mini panic attack). He ran another check and informed me that I was booked on the flight leaving tonight (Saturday evening at 11:00 pm)... major major panic attack!!!!

After some deep, abdominal breathing, I called my friends and asked them to meet me earlier (at 6:30 pm) and after a quick farewell, I sped back to the villas... We got stuck in traffic and it was 7:30 pm by the time I arrived at the villas (time to check-in = 1 hr 30 mins).

I did laundry, dried and folded my sheets and towels, took out the trash, finished packing and weighing my luggage and cleaned the kitchen in 1 hr 30 mins. I also ended up giving away 50% of my things including my favorite Pton t-shirt :'(. Coming down the stairs with my over-stuffed suitcase, I managed to fracture a bone in my right hand (I heard a slight crack) and the hand swelled up and turned purple.

Thanks to Zubair (our awesome driver), I made it to the airport just in time (huge sigh of relief) and made it to Karachi where the temperature is around 42 degrees Celcius and there's been no electricity for the past two hours (which means, no airconditioning/tv/fun).

But I'm happy to be home :) and our cat is expecting again and my hand is back to its normal size...