Mission Impossible 4 - Spoiler Alert

The movie was generally entertaining, lots of "action" and good cinematography... Tom Cruise looked dashing (*sigh* :) but the plot was pretty blah... When was the last time someone saw herds of camels on Dubai roads? And dust storms occur, yes, but thanks to climate change and urbanization and man's tampering with the natural desert environment, sandstorms today are nowhere close to the disaster proportions depicted in the movie...

Also, they should've had an Emirati or two play a part... and there's definitely more to Dubai than the Burj Khalifa. Anil Kapoor's performance was poor... or maybe he was forced to play a fumbling role but Aamir Khan or even SRK could've done a better job...

The Three Ages of Man and Death

The Three Ages of Man and Death was a painting I saw at the Museo Nacional del Prado in Madrid and it still haunts me... It basically shows a baby sleeping, a young woman in the prime of her youth and an old woman trying to expose her as death (the skeletal old man carrying an hour glass) leads her away...

I'm already dreading old age and I hope and pray I'll be gone before I'm dependent on others to take care of me... and I pray God grants me full possession of my faculties. Imagine how frightening it would be, to not be able to recognize your brother or sister or forget where you live or how to eat a sandwich!

Other really interesting/disturbing paintings were Magdalena Ventura (The Bearded Woman) and The Birth of the Milky Way by Rubens... Rubens painted a lot of nekkid women and men with leaves on their private parts... my fifth grade humor kicked in and I sat on the one of the benches at the Museum and giggled until I was in hysterics and tears botched up my face... yes, I'm weird!

Lahore Again

Mr. F and I left for Lahore on Friday evening and had McDonalds burgers from the airport for iftar :). Things have been rather bleak... mom-in-law dearest has Dengue and she's in hospital. Haven't really been doing much except entertaining visitors who come to pay their respects. Waisay, I don't really get the whole concept of having a dozen people accompany you to the hospital... Not only do they get in the way of the doctors and nurses but end up creating a commotion in the hospital and disturb other patients.

I'd be traumatized by having 6 attendants speaking in none-too-soft voices and commenting on how haggard I look when my head's aching fit to burst.

People have been asking my if I'm expecting :P. Usually, the conversation goes something like this:

"So, it's been a year since you got married? I nod, yes. So, how far along are you?/Planning a baby yet?/Are you using contraception?/What methods?/You know, there's a new designer pill for people who want to conceive really quickly"

:P

So, happy news! I met up with a fellow Pakistani Princetonian after 3 years!!!! Twas amazing :) and we had a fine time reminiscing... *Sigh* I miss Princeton!

Shahi Shaadi

is Geo's name for Prince William's marriage to Kate Middleton :-P

I must confess, I'm one of those who eagerly followed the live screening of the royal wedding even though I'm supposed to be working. Kate looked lovely... The dress was simple and chic and I liked how it was totally unostentatious (if that's even a word) and relatively conservative... no deep necklines or bare shoulders for the Princess :)

Prince Harry was wearing too may layers... or it may just have been a bullet-proof jacket under his coat (he looked puffy) but I think he's more of a blazer and khakis kinda guy...

It's interesting how Eastern brides wear bright colors (reds and pinks) while our men are more somber in beige, white and grey and it's totally reversed in the West with the Prince in bright red military attire and the bride in virginal white...

Westminster Abbey is awe-inspiring as always... I think I'd like to renew my vows there if I get a chance (just have to convince Mr. F :p) if inshalah we make it through the next several years without arguing over sofa and curtain fabric :P

On Babies

My brother-in-law and his wife just had a beautiful baby girl :). Mashalah, she is adorable (they sent us pictures within hours of her birth thanks to digital technology).

Sadly, Mr. F's family doesn't celebrate the birth of daughter... there's no mithai distribution, no gushing praise for the mom, no excited telephone calls to extended family and friends :( When it's a boy, they go all out and exchange lavish gifts and host a large dinner for the baby... It's pretty sad in this day and age especially among the educated classes. I'm not quite sure what it will take to change this mindset but I hope my daughter (if and when I have one inshalah :)) will be welcomed in a way similar to her male counterparts.

Also, MIL dearest mentioned (none too casually) that my nephews and nieces are now hoping for a cousin from their Chachi (Gaia)... How does one respond, politely?

On Filipino Maids in Pakistan

I was chatting with one of my colleagues today when the conversation turned to Filipino maids... My colleague NK has twins, a boy and a girl and she works full-time, hence she needs child care at home and someone to pick and drop the kids from school.

So, I ask her, why not just hire a Pakistani maid? Because, NK replies, Filipino maids speak fluent English, are highly educated (her's worked in a bank in the Philippines) and brush their teeth three times a day... Plus, they won't run away or abandon you, they have fixed vacation and wages and they're clean. Also, they have no distractions since they're away from their own family and friends.

NK, being a warm-hearted lady allows her maid to go to Sunday Bazaar on Sundays. She makes it a point to hug her and treat her like one of the family and her kids look up to the maid as an older sister. She gets paid $300/month, to look after NK's kids while her own children are looked after by their grandmother in the Philippines... And she gets to visit once every 2 years.

Pakistani society is full of contradictions :|)

Back to the Grind

A shrine in Multan

Gaia is officially back in her cubicle... This morning, I was an hour late to work! And it was all thanks to Mr. F (*insert annoyed smiley*). Mr. F's being transferred to another department and I'll be left behind...

It's probably better for both of us but I have mixed feelings... We'll be more independent professionally but I will miss walking past him whenever I get up for coffee :-| Plus, I can't keep on eye on him :p and he'll be working late.

I went to Ehsanpur by car from Multan... it was surreal. What really struck me though was how primitive village culture really is... During a conversation with one of the lady teachers at the primary school, it kept running through my mind that my handbag from Hub leather cost more than twice her monthly salary :(

Government school teachers are paid Rs. 4,000/month ~ US$ 47/month

Why Chinese Moms are Superior

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704111504576059713528698754.html

Your thoughts?

:)

You know you're an old-fashioned aunty at heart when...

... you hear your eight-year old niece singing Shelia ki jawani, I'm too sexy for you at the top of her lungs and your ears turn beet-red...

... your husband kindly asks if you're approaching that time of the month and you go, "Shush! you're supposed to pretend like you don't know anything about it!"

Local Lahori Recipes

I'll inshalah be going to Lahore for Eid! I'm supposed to "cook" proper desi food. So, to all you people from Lahore or Kashmir or with roots in Punjab, what are some decent dishes? Simple, easy and yummy recipes would be appreciated :)

Only in Pakistan

http://www.dawn.com/wps/wcm/connect/dawn-content-library/dawn/news/pakistan/provinces/03-two-brides-in-two-days-for-one-lucky-man-ss-08

Tax Returns

It's the first time I'll be filing tax returns in Pakistan... except, there are no guidelines and no procedure! I'm supposed to find an "agent" to do it for me :P

I remember the mad rush to do it on 15th April in the US, long lines at the post office and the happy feeling I'd get afterwards :)

Lahori Eid

I spent my first Eid in Lahore... Mr. F was super excited and I guess the excitement was contagious :) We landed at 4:45pm but the bijli went and the conveyor belt stopped running so we had to wait a whole hour for our luggage to arrive!

By the time we got home, it was time for iftar so we sat down to break fast with the khandaan (Mashalah, Mr. F has 8 siblings... with wives and kids in tow it's quite a full house). When in Lahore, I'm Gaia chachi (chachi = father's younger brother's wife). As one of my nieces informed me, I'm still quite "new" coz I live in Karachi and we haven't really spent a lot of time together yet... I'll become purani (old) when Mr. F's younger brother gets married and his wife moves in :p.

I'm really not used to kids... when I was little and guests used to come over, I'd hide behind the door so I wouldn't have to meet them :S. My nieces and nephews are quite the opposite and scramble to sit in my lap and ask for hugs and kisses and candy... lol.

On Eid day, all the men dressed up in white boski shalwar kameez and went for namaz (Mr. F looked handsome :))... Meanwhile, I got dressed and went to say salam to mommy-in-law but I was told to go and change since I was looking too "simple". I went and put on lots of gold jewelry, 2 sets of bangles, red lipstick and my bling jora... Also straightened my hair and got a "puff"... I think I looked more Punjabi than Punjabis themselves... Mr. F was rather amused to see his usually somber wife looking like a heroine from some Punjabi movie... He said I needed to put on a few kilos to look the part :P

After a breakfast of murgh-cholay and sheer khorma, Mr. F took me a-visiting... I met quite a diverse selection of Lahoris... mostly though, the ladies talked about clothes and make-up and babies while aunties hastened to give me advice on how to manage the house and the husband. Now that I'm married, I get to sit at the married aunty table (when did that happen :0).

I had gelato at Cosa Nostra Pizzeria, fries at World Fashion Cafe, lunch at Hardees and dinner at Fujiyama (the one in Lahore is wayyyyy better than Karachi's Avari) and yes, I probably put on a couple of pounds :p

If I were to move to Lahore, I think I'd turn into a mem-sahib; eat all day and go to Uzma's and C'est la Vie on weekends... oh and pop mundas :p

Moti ho ke aana (Gain some weight when you visit next time)

The above advice was given to me by Mr. F's phuppi (paternal aunt) as I was leaving for Karachi. I hastened to tell her that I'm not on a diet and that I love food but she gave me a sly smile and pointed to her ample tummy and mimed a pregnant belly... Understanding dawned... aaaahh... right. So basically, she was trying to tell me (not very subtly) that I should begin procreating asap.

During my 9 days in the lovely city of Lahore, I was asked not less than 6 times when I'm planning to have my first kid... and I was meeting most of these people for the first time :P. The first couple of times, Mr. F chimed in with "jab Allah ki marzi" (whenever God wills) since the wife was dumbfounded... lol.

Another huge cultural difference between Karachi and Lahore is the concept of privacy. In Lahore, it's considered perfectly normal for people (family, guests staying over, servants) to barge into the room of a newly-wed couple at odd times during the day (and night) without knocking or announcing their presence. This can lead to some major awkward moments and poor Mr. F's become paranoid about locking and bolting doors :"P

Prenuptial Thoughts

I've been weeping my eyes out in the office bathroom... Mr. F thinks these are "prenuptial jitters" I think I'm just sad :,(

So girls and guys, here's a new situation:

My parents want to fill out the Nikahnama early to avoid last minute drama scenes... Mr. F's family thinks that's just weird and they'd rather do it on D-day. Also, my "uber-progressive" parents are on my case to thoroughly read through the document and be aware of my rights. I personally don't think putting down clauses in my Nikahnama (right to work, right to further education etc.) will protect my rights :P

Also, what's your take on family planning/contraceptives? UnIslamic? Interfering with nature? Horrible side-effects?

Naseeb

In junior year of college, I went to visit my ABCD cousin in Peabody, Boston. She introduced me to the world of "Halal Hookups". Basically, this is a way for young Muslims to meet and greet and check out one another in order to find a spouse and eventually get married. Being young, naive and somewhat gullible, I signed up for an ISNA get-together (ISNA = Islamic Society of North America). Lots of single Muslim girls and boys, men and women along with their hopeful ammis and abbus attend this event so their children can meet "a nice Muslim boy or girl", "settle down" and give up their hedonistic lifestyles.

This was the first time I was introduced to the concept of Muslim speed-dating... Enjoy :)

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/09/19/us/19dating.html?pagewanted=all

Lost in Translation

I don't speak a word of Punjabi and the elders in my fiance's family speak only Punjabi and they speak really fast. So during my conversations with his family, I use "jee" (yes) a lot. I thought his aunt was asking about my brother's wife and I was quick to respond that my brother isn't married... Turns out she was asking me how I'm liking work these days :p.

All the Punjabi I know, I picked up from Bollywood and Sukhbir... think it'll work for the in-laws :) ?

Anyway, so I've officially started "wedding shopping". This basically means purchasing an entire trousseau so I'll never have to go shopping for clothes again :p. I tried in vain to explain to my mom that I'll buy clothes when the need arises but she just responded with a "look". So I now have everything from chiffons and silk to lace and jamavar... I hope I don't sound ungrateful but I do think it's a waste... and who knows, we might all be wearing polymers ten years down the line... I also have a saree from my mom's trousseau which she never got a chance to wear :S.

I'm also thinking of starting a "SAY NO TO GOLD" campaign... unless you've got loads and loads of spare cash lying around or happen to be marrying him.

So dears, please pray that this works out for us inshalah... Aunties love creeping me out with a load of negative comments. Oh and feel free to offer advice, okthanxbye!

Too Close for Comfort...

Sharjah: A shocking trend is sweeping across educational institutions in the UAE. It’s called same-sex relationships and it’s worrying officials and parents no end.
A number of students, school employees and others confided in XPRESS that inappropriate intimacy among girls is on the rise on campuses.

“They sit intimately close and touch each other inappropriately,” said Umm Rawan, an employee at the Sharjah University for Women (UOS).

The Emirati woman also had to deal with the demon on a personal level recently – first when her 16-year-old daughter fell for an Indian girl and then when her teenage son started receiving overtures from homosexual male students. Umm Rawan lodged a complaint with the school administration. “I am a divorcee and couldn’t handle these things on my own. I feared my kids would become homosexual so I gave them in the custody of their father,” she recalls.

But Umm Rawan’s startling revelation pales in comparison to the scandalous disclosure made by a girl on Abu Dhabi TV’s Step programme some time back.
Badriya, who prefers to be addressed as Bandar (a male name), shocked television audiences across the nation when she openly spoke of her relationship with another girl, Maha, and expressed the desire to marry her and have children with her through artificial fertilisation. “I love my girlfriend and I want to have children with her,” she said on national TV, adding that she would work to support her family.

Prohibited by law

Homosexuality is prohibited in the UAE and violators face stiff punishment.

Authorities are trying to curb deviant behaviour to better reflect the traditional conservative laws of the UAE. Last year the Ministry of Social Affairs launched an awareness campaign called Excuse me, I am a Girl, directed against what was described as ‘the ‘fourth gender’.

Meant to tackle lesbianism-related issues, the campaign included a series of workshops, TV programmes and lectures at universities and schools and was run by the Sharjah Social Care Centre for Women, an affiliate of the ministry. Samira Al Shair, Security Affairs Officer, Ajman Police, who implemented the campaign at Ajman Educational Zone said lesbianism accounted for 40 per cent of the 70-80 per cent of juvenile delinquency cases reported at Ajman schools.

“I dealt with many cases, almost all of which had one thing in common – the absence of a father,” recalled Samira.

More here

Busy Sunday

Baba has been with our family for over 25 years... He was my grandfather's batman and then moved in as chowkidar/comptroller. Last year, Baba retired from service, went for Umra and then joined the Tableegh with frequent trips to Rywand.

Baba sent his son Ajmer in his place and today, we went to visit him at his home since he'd just become a father for the first time. Baba, Ajmer and his four brothers all live together in a house in Landhi with their wives and children. They'd done a lot of ehtemam in honor of our visit and everything was clean and shiny. They entertained us in the best room (beautifully decorated with flowers and wall hangings) and introduced us to all the children (around 27 in all). I was surprised at how liberal they were (I'd expected segregation and covered heads) but all the women were dressed in their colorful outfits and wore lots of makeup and jewelry :). Ajmer's baby girl Ayman is gorgeous Mashalah with beautiful big black eyes and he dotes on her :)

Baba's wife spoke mainly Pushto but my mom understood most of it and translated for me. They served us a lavish lunch and kept refilling our plates. Finally, Ajmer's wife served us green tea with sliced lemons and sugar...

I came away highly impressed by their consideration and saleekha and feeling slightly ashamed of my not-s0-dhang-walay ways. I can't think of an English word for "dhang" or "saleekha". Any suggestions are welcome!

Updates

Sorry, I temporarily dropped off the face of the earth but I had so much going on that it was hard to put everything down. It was one of those times when I felt like I needed Dumbledore's pensieve to siphon off my thoughts and then examine them at leisure :P.

So last Thursday I got an eye-infection and it was one of the worst I've ever contracted. Since it's barely been a month since I started work, I didn't think it would be nice to take time off, so I went to work with my huge Abu Dhabian sunglasses (I used to wear them back in AD because they kept the dust and sun out of my face). Well, this is Pakistan where people can't help themselves and absolutely have to comment. Here are just a few that I had to endure:

"Gaia se kaho ab raat ho gayi hai" (Tell Gaia it's evening now)

"Aap to female James Bond lag rahi hain" (You look like a female James Bond)

"You look like Chaudry Shujaat"

"We're not in the Matrix you know?"

One lady made me take them off just so she could get a good look at my watery, bloodshot eyes :P. I mean really people, I'm obviously wearing them for a reason!

On top of that, last week was more hectic than usual and I had to attend a conference at Sheraton with the glasses on... :P. It's really awkward being the only girl at work because all the guys are talking guy-stuff and I feel left-out :'(. Plus, there's noone to go to the bathroom with...

Next post: Trip to Thar where there is no electricity, no fresh water and people burn cow dung for fuel.