Snog = Highly Overrated

Froyo outlets are popping up everywhere so I decided to have my first frozen yogurt in Karachi... I went for the natural flavor and my friends got blueberry, strawberry and chocolate so we could all share... One plain cup is priced at Rs. 340 with additional charges for each extra topping! For that amount of cash, I could buy a pint of Haagen Daaz or Starbucks ice cream and 2 liters of Walls or Omore!

The natural flavor tasted like Nestle full-fat yogurt and the texture was rather watery... The server mentioned at least three times that the froyo is sugar-free and fat-free and sweetened with Agave nectar but, if I'm having dessert at all, I'd rather have it good or avoid it altogether. Frozen yogurt (at least the one we tried) doesn't fill you up, nor does it give you that feel-good, happy feeling you get after downing a cupful of old-fashioned creamy ice-cream.

I scream, you scream, we all scream for ICE CREAM!

Another Monday

So many of my friends have birthdays on 9th January! Happy Birthday to all of you :)

I got some bad news today... a friend (acquaintance) that I used to know at Princeton was diagnosed with leukemia. Right after graduation in May 2011, just as she was beginning a new life, she fell ill. The doctors ran a few tests and she received the diagnosis. I remember her as an incredibly pretty, petite Tunisian girl (one of the few at Princeton) and she helped me with some Arabic exercises one afternoon at Cafe Viv...

You can't ever take anything for granted and I guess it's a reminder that each and every living moment, we need to be grateful for all that we have...

SJ, you may not remember me, but I'm adding my voice to everyone else who's praying for you...

It's Cold and I've Nowhere to Sleep

She calls out to the man on the street

'Sir, can you help me ?'

'It's cold, and I've nowhere to sleep.

Is there somewhere you can tell me ?'

He walks on, doesn't look back,

He pretends he can't hear her

Starts to whistle as he crosses the street

Seems embarrased to be there.

Oh think twice,

It's another day for you and me in paradise

Oh think twice, it's just another day for you,

You and me in paradise

She calls out to the man on the street

He can see she's been crying

She's got blisters on the soles of her feet

She can't walk, but she's trying

Oh think twice .....

Oh Lord, is there nothing more anybody can do

Oh Lord, there must be something you can say

You can tell from the lines on her face you can see that she's been there

Probably been moved on from every place 'cos she didn't fit in there

Oh think twice .....

PIA - Awful People to Fly With

So I'm back in Karachi and in office... I always find it difficult to get out of holiday mode :-p.

So, PIA screwed me over yet again!! I was supposed to leave for Karachi on the 11:00 am flight from Lahore, except, a smaller plane showed up (an Airbus instead of a Boeing 777) and 50 passengers didn't get on the plane... I went back home after having said goodbye and hugged and kissed all my female relatives in Lahore and given candy to the kids :-p... embarrassing!

Mr. F made frantic phone calls to his friends in the airline industry and some kind-hearted and resourceful soul put me on the 10pm flight to Karachi. I'd bought Cinnabon the night before as a present for my sister and they went bad :(

Now I'm one of those who looks forward to airline food :-p... It's a way to distract myself and chase boredom so I'll normally eat whatever is in the little plastic tray... This time there was a sandwich and a slice of cake (gone are the days when they would serve us biryani and a greasy curry and the famous rock-hard pia bun with butter :( ). I ate the sandwich and have been paying for my greed since Sunday in the form of numerous trips to the bathroom and acute nausea... ugh!

Fiasco at the UK Visa Center

So I finally mustered the courage to apply for a UK tourist visa... After several phone calls to the call center, I managed to schedule an appointment for 8:00 am. I prepared all the documents, made copies and booked a car to take me to Fortune Center. I arrived at ten minutes to eight. A few people were already in line and I joined the queue. A lonely security guard manned the counter and we were informed that the staff might be late because of the chaos in the city (there was firing yesterday and the security situation wasn't too great, therefore, public transport wasn't running).

There was nowhere to sit, we remained standing. One lady had brought her child with her... a boy of around 18 (with mental disabilities) who clung to his mother and became increasingly restless as time went by.

The guards were unable to provide any information. We waited for the staff to arrive for almost 45 minutes in the scorching heat before walking away...

The better team won the match but I love Afridi for saying "sorry" to the nation (I got all teary-eyed when he said that *sniff*).

So, Turkey ain't happening this year because the husband can't get leave and I really wanted to go before the summer tourist season :-(. I will try to squeeze in a trip to AD though (inshalah, dear God please, please, please let it happen).

Yesterday, I was really really really mean to Mr. F and I feel awful... The problem with being married is that you start having expectations from the other person, when you're just friends, it's all about being there for someone but not expecting anything in return. There are no defined roles and you have the freedom to do more or less as you please (without hurting someone else's feelings). So anyway, he's traveling this weekend and I'm missing him terribly and I'm wishing I could unsay and undo the stupid things I said and did last night.

He forgave me and was sweet and caring but I felt like I didn't deserve it... I'll have to spend the next week and a half being extra good and making it up to him.

*sigh*

Since returning to Pakistan and particularly, to Karachi, my outlook on a lot of issues has changed. I realized I've become callous... not necessarily by choice but by circumstance. A few years ago, a picture could reduce me to tears and I wouldn't be able to sleep for days at a time... Over time, I've become inured to the suffering around me... It sounds awful, yes, but to maintain your sanity it's sometimes necessary to just shut your eyes and take a deep breath.

Last night on the way back from the airport, there was firing at Shahrae Faisal... I thought at first they were crackers until I saw people ducking by the roadside and cars speeding up to avoid being targeted... And then, I realized, it's normal, it's a part of life and it no longer bothers me... A person from, say, Copenhagen would probably be traumatized by the incident but Karachiites... we just accept it and move on. Once upon a time, I used to love this quote:

"To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never, to forget." Arundhati Roy

Now I can't seem to relate to it any more :s

Tragedy

The Air Blue crash, floods, bomb blasts... Dear God, please grant us respite, I don't think we can take much more of this...

Ameen

Enforced Normalcy

So I'm going about my daily routine, getting ready for work, driving to the office, lunching with my colleagues and going home when I'm done to have dinner with my family and get some rest. But it feels strangely unreal... I'm finding it increasingly difficult to ignore what's happening all around me and continue living my selfish lifestyle. My 12-year old sister's joking about her classmates making faces at the newly installed security cameras in their school and the security personnel surrounding the area makes it look like a war zone.

I found a couple of great articles here and here.

UK Visa Reject

:'( *sob*!

That means no grad school this year... I'm praying God has something better for me, otherwise, I'm currently unemployed in Karachi... *sob*.

"At the end of the day faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don't really expect it. Its like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And its not so important happy ever after, just that its happy right now. See once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you , and once in a while people may even take your breath away. "
Meredith Grey
(Grey's Anatomy)

A Semi-Happy Post

I realized that my thoughts are becoming progressively sadder day by day... Today was interesting. I met some friends after a reallllly long time and we had fun catching up. There's something about old buddies, people I knew as awkward teenagers who've grown up to become successful men and women that always gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling inside :) (of course, I was an awkward teenager too :p).

Later, we went for dinner at Arizona Grill... It was packed since it was the weekend and we had to wait for a table... When we were leaving, a little boy (around 6 or 7 years old) came up to me and said, "Baji, don't break my heart baji, please buy a flower for 10 rupees " in perfect English and started handing me flowers... I bought a few and handed them out but he followed us all the way back to the car along with his younger siblings. At the stoplight, a swarm of little boys literally ambushed us with their windshield wipers... When the traffic light turns red, these little boys come up to the cars and start wiping the windshields, then expect to be paid... it really breaks my heart... :-(

“In a world filled with hate, we must still dare to hope. In a world filled with anger, we must still dare to comfort. In a world filled with despair, we must still dare to dream. And in a world filled with distrust, we must still dare to believe.”
MJ

When I Need A Good Cry...

Karachi

For a country that's supposedly at war, its most populated city Karachi, is serene. The weather is warm, sunny and humid, traffic is at its peak and people go about their daily business with cheerful apathy, oblivious to the suffering of fellow countrymen and women in the north. 

The wedding season will begin soon, once students' are through with their final exams. Millions of rupees will be spent on lavish arrangements, jewelry, outfits, food and gifts. There will be music, singing, dancing and fun. Kids will attend summer camps and take swimming and music lessons while older siblings will hang out at the numerous cafes and coffee shops and take exotic trips abroad. Mums will attend kitty parties and dads will play golf or go to the club.  

Somewhere in an obscure part of the country, several children will become orphans, men will lose their lives and women will forfeit their honor and dignity to support their families. A few million have already been made homeless and are now battling heavy monsoon rains in addition to scorching heat in the makeshift tent camps for the Internally Displaced People. I realized I don't like the term IDP- it's desensitizes us to reality... 

The contrast between the haves and the havenots in Pakistan is amazing, scary and ultimately depressing...  

The other day, I was listening to a commercial on the radio, "Bijli bachaein, mustaqbil barhaein" (conserve electricity, salvage the future) vocalized by little kids (apparently, this has a greater psychological impact on listeners). KESC is also publishing full page ads in DAWN encouraging consumers to conserve. I think it's a step in the right direction but it would be nice if they would put another 5000 MW online by the end of the year... :p

My mom took me shopping for summer clothes... Women of all ages in Karachi are now wearing looooong kameezes (almost down to the ankles) with culottes (a split or divided skirt developed for horseback riding so that women could sit astride a man's saddle rather than riding side-saddle). Dupattas are no longer part of the "modern" Pakistani woman's attire... Skinny fifteen-year olds can pull off "the look", but it does NOT suit sixty-something year old aunties with multiple tummy tires. 

I also went to the police station in Kharadar for fingerprinting (a prerequisite for my visa application). It was my first time in a police station in Pakistan... the officers were surprisingly polite and efficient and gave me Surf excel to wash the ink off my hands.

Now, back to work in Abu Dhabi... (which was actually known as Umm Dhabi until they changed the name). 

Marriage Guidance at the Mall

It's summer in Abu Dhabi and it's hot outside (over 45 degrees C today!) so one goes to the mall to relax after work, read a newspaper, chill with friends at Chocolat, or take the kids out to play (in the airconditioned play area). Now, people can also get marriage guidance at the mall...

The campaign, sponsored by the Islamic Affairs and Charitable Activities Department in Dubai, is an attempt to reach people who might otherwise not seek support when faced with marriage or family problems.

The campaign, called “He has put between you affection and mercy”, a reference to a Quranic verse, aims to encourage parents, couples and those about to marry to seek professional guidance and counselling in a bid to reduce divorce rates. According to one survey published by the Marriage Fund, the country’s divorce rate has reached 40 per cent, the highest in the Arab world.

Also yesterday, Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid, Vice President of the UAE and Ruler of Dubai, ordered that all new shopping centres in the emirate must have mosques and health clinics.

“We decided to do this in a mall in order to reach out to people who would normally be too bashful to enter an official building and ask for help,” said Yousra al Qaoud, the head of religious advisory at the department.

“When the place is comfortable and casual, people relax and open up, and it’s free including the coffee and tea."

I don't know about you but I'd be more embarrassed going to the mall for marriage counselling than going to say, a private clinic...  

 A recent survey by the department showed the most common cause of marital problems was infidelity.

“Especially online infidelity,” said Ms al Muhajeri, who will soon publish a book about online trends in Emirati society and their effect on the family.

“We’ve been hearing about it so much lately. Women especially come to us complaining that their husband spends too much time chatting with women online, or that he visits pornographic sites.”

You can read the rest of the article here.

On Death

A distant relative passed away today. He was old. People said his time had come and he went peacefully. He is survived by his wife. They didn't have children; only a cat called Bundle who lived to the ripe old age of 16 and passed away a few years ago. 

In our society, we take so much for granted, we complain about family, annoying relatives and people encroaching on our privacy but this support system is our safety net. Usually, when one parent passes away, the surviving spouse goes to live with their son (or some other family member, depending on the situation). But what happens when there are no children? No siblings? No one? 

After the first few days of mourning, everyone goes back to their daily routine and the one left behind is left to pick up the pieces and await his/her own death. Remarriage for widows (beyond a certain age) is usually looked down upon and a single woman living on her own is considered taboo. What to do?

 

This is Sad...

Rent-a-friend in Japan

Lola is a Persian cat who works at the Ja La La Cafe in Tokyo's bustling Akihabara district. It is one of a growing number of Cat Cafes in the city which provide visitors with short but intimate encounters with professional pets.

When I called, there were 12 felines and seven customers, mostly single men.

One man, in his early 30s, was attempting to bond with an Oriental Longhair by means of a rubber mouse.

Yutsuke, who speaks with a lisp, is normally rather shy with people. He longs for a cat of his own but frequent business trips make that difficult. Besides, he lives alone, so the Ja La La is his solution to the problem.

The right pet

It costs about £8 ($10) an hour to spend time in a Cat Cafe.

Busy lives mean some people prefer to hire a dog

If felines do not appeal, other establishments will rent you a rabbit, a ferret or even a beetle.

There are more than 150 companies in Tokyo which are licensed to hire out animals of various kinds and although beetles may be cheap, dogs are much more popular.

First you pay a deposit and a hire fee. Then you are issued with a leash, some tissues and a plastic bag and given some advice on how to handle your new friend.

Kaori is a pretty waitress who regularly spends her Sunday afternoons with a Labrador. They go for a walk in the park if the weather is fine, or if it is wet they just snuggle up in front of the TV in her apartment.

"When I look into his eyes, I think he's my dog," Kaori told me. "But when I take him back to the shop, he runs away from me and starts wagging his tail when he sees the next customer. That's when I know he's only a rental dog."

Every need considered

Of course, it is not only animals whose loyalties can be decided by money, as people who work in Japan's vast entertainment business will testify.

Some single women hire men to help with their children's homework

The industry offers an enormous variety of opportunities to exchange money for company.

Very popular at the moment is the Campus Cafe, where men go to socialise with female university students. It is cheaper than the upscale hostess clubs in which businessmen and politicians drink whisky with women in kimonos, although that is a business which is in crisis because of the recession.

Only a small proportion of the trade involves sex. Most hostesses are flatterers not prostitutes and customers come to find comfort in their words, not in their arms.

One specialist agency is known as Hagemashi Tai, which translates as I Want To Cheer Up Limited. It rents relatives. (Thank God for our desi family support structure!)

Actors are despatched to play the part of distant relations at weddings and funerals. For an extra fee, they will even give a speech.

But the firm's services do not stop there. It can also provide temporary husbands to single mothers who want them.

The website says the "dad" will help the children with their homework. He will sort out problems with the neighbours.

He will take the kids to a barbeque or to a park. He could also appear at the daunting interview with a nursery school head teacher which parents are required to endure in order to persuade the principal to give their child a good start in life.

Cry for help

There is a service for women who are about to wed too. Apparently, they can practise for married life with a hired husband, although whether this involves seduction or sock washing is not exactly clear.

And if things are not working out with a real husband, a woman considering a divorce may choose to hire a "mother" in order to discuss her marital anxieties.

Mr M O from Shizuoka near Mount Fuji called upon the services of I Want To Cheer Up Ltd because he needed a father.

Mr M O has been blind since birth and had a number of concerns that he felt he could not speak to others about.

"I kept it all inside and couldn't deal with the criticisms that had been directed at me by my parents and teachers," he testified.

After some discussion, the company sent an older man to have dinner with him. "Usually I can't open up when I meet someone for the first time but on that occasion, I felt I was really talking with a normal father. I'll use the service again," he said.

Loneliness is a problem faced by many people on these crowded islands. But the Japanese are prone to believe that, in the right circumstances, money can turn a stranger into a friend... at least for a couple of hours.

Source: BBC