What to Expect...

When You're Expecting... is the title of the very famous book for pregnant ladies. I've skimmed through it a few times but after reading about "what to expect", I'd start experiencing all the symptoms that expecting moms were supposed to have, backaches, leg-cramps, hormonal episodes :-P

Baby's doesn't seem to want to make an appearance any time soon. Guess it's too comfy in there! Mr. F accompanied me to the last doctor's appointment. She told us she encourages C-sections because apparently it saves babies the trauma of natural delivery and helps them get into Grammar School. Mr. F was incensed but luckily, his humor kicked in... we had a good laugh in the car!

I've been eating panjeeri and food laden with ghee but all it does is put me to sleep... Secretly ordered pizza today :-P

Working Mom?

Alhamdulilah, I've been blessed with good health and an uncomplicated pregnancy, allowing me to continue to work full-time well into my 8th month and Inshalah, I plan to continue working up until a couple of weeks before the due date.

It was the same when I was getting married; I was in office up until the day before my Mayoun and I think it helped me stay sane, having an outlet where I could be productively employed, away from the spats that inevitably crop up when relatives and extended family from all over the world get together for a few days in the hot and humid month of July!

At the same time if I'm honest, I do feel that I missed out on the excitement and pampering that the traditional bride gets at home; the poignant moments before one leaves the parents' home for the new home and new life with the husband. It was such a whirlwind week that I barely remember anything and everything I do recall was more from the perspective of a detached observer than that of the bride...

I don't want to do this with baby... I want to (Inshalah) enjoy each and every moment and spend as much time as possible, watching him or her grow up and be there when it needs me. At the same time, I don't want to give up everything I've worked so hard for, not to mention the freedom, the financial independence, the excitement of meeting interesting people and working on meaningful projects, the lunches and dinners with my colleagues, the mini-celebrations when we achieve a mutual target, the office birthdays, the monthly paycheck and perks and mostly just being able to get up, get ready and go to work...

I'm trying to be flexible and see how I feel about going back to work full-time... Let's see!

Decisions decisions!

Good news... I got into a Masters program at Yale!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Alhamdulilah

Except, Mr. F can't leave his job to come with me and I don't want to go alone... I also want to spend all the time I can with baby and hopefully Inshalah be a good mom... but, I also don't want to look back at this time 20 years later and regret not having gone to grad school... And let's be honest, a part of me has gotten used to the idea of being back in my hometown with parents, grandparents and cousins close by and ideally, I'd want baby to have that kind of environment to grow up in. Yes, Pakistan has its issues but it also has a lot of comforts that we take for granted...

Tough decision :-S

Quick Update

Work is getting slightly more manageable but I'm exhausted at the end of the day...

But the independence and the added self-esteem is so worth it! I think it's really unfair how women of earlier generations had to ask their men for money or get a weekly/monthly "allowance"... I mean, yes, men are responsible for supporting their families but the whole giver/receiver role is a little archaic... And men never say "thank you" for the million services women provide them (making tea, serving dinner, running the house, entertaining their families).

I'm getting really big now... I guess it was inevitable but I don't think I was prepared for the changes :-P... Big butt, thick thighs, swollen feet and of course, the protruding tummy! Hopefully will be worth it in the end but my respect for my gender increases every single day :)

Still Swimming

Whew! I barely get time to gobble down lunch these days and I'm so beat, I just go home and crash... Staying at the 'rents again so I get home-cooked food from Mom plus a free back massage from sister dearest :) Yayy!

Mr. F's traveling and partying in Thailand :-P, I could be bitter but I don't want to make myself sick, so just trying to keep myself busy and happy. I got my bonus today :D. I think I'll spend it on a ticket for Mom to visit her sister in Canada.

Backaches are getting worse and baby dear is rather active Mashalah... Hoping everything turns out ok Inshalah.

I'm learning all about financial ratios and doing lots of number-crunching... it's pretty cool but do miss my Environment/Energy work...

Ciao!

Karachi Literature Festival 2012

Kudos to Ameena Saiyid for successfully organizing this event for the third year running!

KLF gives Karachiites something to look forward to; a much needed intellectual platform where writers and artists can come together to connect in a safe, open environment. And the best part? It's free and open to all (all ages, genders and socioeconomic classes are welcome although the festival was dominated by the elite aunties in their winter shawls, sarees and designer sunglasses :-P).

I missed William Dalrymple, acclaimed author of White Mughals and The Last Mughal but I managed to sit in Dr. Pervez Hoodbhoy's talk which was both edifying and witty...

I'd also like to share that I got 2 rejections... one from Stanford and one from Yale :'(

Guess it's not meant to be but I hope Allah Mian shows me the light soon... I really want to get back to academics (safe option) or do something amazing (not too safe) soon Inshalah.

Dolmen Mall Karachi

This winter's been longer than any I can remember in the recent past... Usually, Karachi enjoys a two-week long cold spell and then we're back to perpetual summer... hmmm

Mr. F's still away... *sigh* but I'm getting used to it. This time, I'm keeping myself ultra-busy, re-doing our garden, shopping for gifts and hanging out with baby sis and bro. We went to Dolmen Mall this past weekend. It was super-crowded and almost all the stores were having a sale. I saw something really cute though: a couple in their late sixties/early seventies were trying to navigate the trolley escalators.

The uncle was being really patient, holding his wife's hand and trying to get her to board the moving walkway but she kept shying away... Meanwhile a crowd of impatient people had queued up behind them and finally, one young lady took pity on Amma-ji and grasping her elbow firmly, she stepped onto the walkway with the husband holding his wife's other hand and clutching the railing on the other side... Thankfully, they made it safely to the other side.

Cinnabon is overrated... It's just a really expensive doughball topped with really sweet syrup, I'd prefer a Boston creme donut any day!

Happy Days

I'm really enjoying this peaceful time before the new arrival with Mr. F, family and friends... just hanging out, watching movies, shopping, eating out and being cozy with coffee and a good novel Alhamdulilah.

It's interesting how you suddenly 'click' with people at different stages of your life... I find I have more in common now with people who're at a similar stage of life as I am than my old school friends/family friends whom I've known all my life... It's bittersweet but that's just the way it is :-|

This past weekend, I went to visit Amima and NanaAbbu... I can't imagine having grown up without my grandparents being around and it's just one of the many perks of having lived in the same city... Weekend sleepovers, trips to the bakery and ice cream parlor, new clothes and toys, Eidiee! Someone to recite extra prayers right before an important exam, someone to comfort me when Mom or Dad were away during emergencies and most importantly, someone to pet me and spoil me and tell me, I'm amazing, just when I needed it the most :)

How to be an Extrovert

So my feedback from my boss during the annual appraisal was that I need to be more loud and assertive. I wish I didn't have to change my core personality but I guess that's one of the requirements of the job :-p

So, how does someone like myself, an introvert at heart turn into an extrovert? I decided to google it, and found the following:

"Extroversion is the act, state, or habit of being predominantly concerned with and obtaining gratification from what is outside the self. If you want to get more gratification from the world around you, here's how."

http://www.wikihow.com/Be-an-Extrovert

- Give yourself permission to act without reflecting beforehand (No, really! They might just fire me :-p)

- Notice people. Try to get them to smile back at you. Greet people, even strangers (Yeah, whenever I do that, I get hit on... by uncles, security guards, salesmen... even other colleagues... I'm cool with aunties though :))

- Engage people in conversation whenever possible. Keep the conversation chatty, focusing on the first thing you notice: "I like your shirt," "Where did you get that haircut?" or "It sure is cold today! (So, I go up to my boss and say, "I like your shirt!"... ummm, how is that professional?! p.s. I actually do know a couple of "extroverts" who actually say stuff like that to the boss :-p)

- Try to get other people to notice you. If they don't, keep talking until they do, or find someone else to talk to. Don't analyze your conversations; just move on to the next one (See above)

Warnings:

• Please don't try too hard. Go at your own pace and don't try to change yourself and be a completely different person, because that is impossible.
• If you are naturally very introverted, efforts to be extroverted all the time may leave you exhausted and unfulfilled.

Okay then!

I like this one's take:

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2005/09/how-to-go-from-introvert-to-extrovert/

Counting My Blessings 2011

Alhamdulilah, this year has been a good one and I have much to be thankful for. So, thank you Allah Mian for blessing me with good health, a supportive family and a secure relationship.

Highlights of the year:
- Trip to Europe... a dream come true :)
- Meeting A after almost 2 years :)
- Solo trip to Dubai in June - girly time with Il and M :)
- Turning 25

Next year, hoping to give back more, maybe take up teaching/counseling and become a more generous/less selfish person.

Gulab Jamun

This blogger describes my feelings perfectly: http://www.indianfoodforever.com/desserts/gulab-jamun.html

How do you describe the sensation when something just melts in your mouth and while it travels down your oesophagus, it leaves a feeling of such warmth and coziness... as if you are the most special person in the world?

How do write or even portray that soft fluffiness of the jamuns oozing with that delicious sweetness? As one of my Princeton friend's once said: "It's like a sugar explosion!!"

Back in college, I used to order these online: http://www.amazon.com/Haldirams-Classic-Indian-Gulab-Jamun/dp/B004XTCLU6/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1324466178&sr=8-5

I'd anxiously track my order until the big day arrived. I'd take out a single gulab jamun and put it in a bowl, top it with lots of syrup and microwave it. Then I'd savor the smell and finally take a bite and go to heaven :)

December

It's wedding season again and harried moms are to be found in shopping centers and at the darzi ki dukaan (tailor shop) frantically shopping and completing outfits for their kids' shaadis.

It's finally become chilly in Karachi and I can go to bed without turning on the fan or ac (Alhamdulilah!). On the streets, you'll see the occasional uncle in an argyle sweater and muffler and an aunty swathed in her winter shawl :p My Lahori friends find it funny while our German boss merely thinks it's "fresh"! Meanwhile, in our temperature-controlled office building, you can't really tell if it's warm or freezing outside... :"(

Right now, I feel like having a mug of hot chocolate from Bent Spoon and a warm, bearclaw pastry from Panera... *sigh*. I also wouldn't mind scurrying home and getting back into bed with an Austen-type novel :)

DUBAI!!!

Thanks to my wonderful husband, I had the most amazing weekend :)

Just like the movies, I flew from Karachi to Dubai and met Mr. F at the Terminal 3. The weather in Dubai was gorgeous! We went to the beach and went mall-hopping. We saw Dirty Picture at Dubai Mall (I didn't pick the movie!). Vidya Balan's acting was really good but some of the the scenes were pretty vulgar... don't watch Dirty Picture with your mom or dad :p

Also ate at a really yummy Mexican restaurant (had proper burritos after 3 years!!!) and went to Butcher Shop at a JBR for dinner. Sure, Dubai is a fake, rich man's playground but it's soooo fun :). Our host was lovely too! (thanks A!)

On the last day, we went to Khana Khazana for lunch; a restaurant by the famous Sanjeev Kapoor. While the food was good, I think my mom can make equally good qeema, biryani and daal :-P

Overall, a fun, relaxing long weekend away from the noise and hullabaloo of Karachi... thanks Mr. F, you're the bestest!

M and Il, thanks for coming all the way from Abu Dhabi just so we could all meet up and re-live the Masdar days :) Good times!

White Hair

I'm officially old now... I crossed my 25th year in October and I'm now a mature adult having studied and worked abroad, gotten married and managed an independent household. The last couple of things have probably been the most challenging... Marriage is no easy task and you learn on the job; nothing can prepare you for it! In my case, Mr. F and I hadn't really known each other that long (around 6 months of chaperoned dating) but that was much longer than my parents knew each other (a few phone calls and glimpses at various community weddings).

The advantages of marrying someone significantly older based on my experience:

- Other person is relatively more mature, less likely to have "breakdowns" and experienced enough to deal with minor crises that occur almost daily ("Mr. F, I ummm... locked the car keys in the car and I'm now stranded in Gizri :'(, I managed to get really nice flowers though!")

- You're not struggling financially; instead of saving and generally being careful like most young couples, I get pampered by Mr. F, eat out at nice restaurants, take impromptu fun trips and don't feel *too* guilty splurging on something occasionally

- Other people take you more seriously; this I've found to be true for most married people! While my single friends are sometimes relegated to the "kid's section", older adults now expect me to join them at their table (I can now make polite small talk with aunties and uncles between the ages of 30 and 100 from all segments of society), children's admissions, maasi/ayah/driver woes, Pakistani politics and the moral deterioration of Pakistani society are generally popular topics (sometimes, I wish I was back at the kids' table :-p)

P.S. I'm loving Google's theme today http://www.google.com.pk/ :-)

Happy Birthday Mark Twain!

We're all going on a Summer Holiday

We're all going on a summer holiday
no more working for a week or two.
Fun and laughter on our summer holiday,
no more worries for me or you,
for a week or two.

We're going where the sun shines brightly
we're going where the sea is blue.
we've all seen it on the movies,
now let's see if it's true.

Everybody has a summer holiday
doin' things they always wanted to
So we're going on a summer holiday,
to make our dreams come true
for me and you.
for me and you.

Down

My brother and sister danced to 'Down' (Baby are you down, down, down, down, down...) at my Mehndi :) Good times!

I'm feeling kinda low these days. Maybe it's the weather, but getting out of bed in the morning and coming to work is a massive effort. I'm not being a very good wife either. I've been having mood swings and poor Mr. F has to suffer. I do feel bad and married life is wonderful, Alhamdulilah but sometimes, I just feel trapped... Wish I could just take a month off and travel (alone or with my fun-loving single friends :-p) and not have to be considerate of anyone else's wishes.

Mr. F's traveling to America and Bulgaria and Rio for work and I'm going to be sad in Karachi... I can't seem to get used to it :-(

I know it's really mean of me to not want my husband to have fun without me.... :(

Advice on how to deal with this?

PIA - Awful People to Fly With

So I'm back in Karachi and in office... I always find it difficult to get out of holiday mode :-p.

So, PIA screwed me over yet again!! I was supposed to leave for Karachi on the 11:00 am flight from Lahore, except, a smaller plane showed up (an Airbus instead of a Boeing 777) and 50 passengers didn't get on the plane... I went back home after having said goodbye and hugged and kissed all my female relatives in Lahore and given candy to the kids :-p... embarrassing!

Mr. F made frantic phone calls to his friends in the airline industry and some kind-hearted and resourceful soul put me on the 10pm flight to Karachi. I'd bought Cinnabon the night before as a present for my sister and they went bad :(

Now I'm one of those who looks forward to airline food :-p... It's a way to distract myself and chase boredom so I'll normally eat whatever is in the little plastic tray... This time there was a sandwich and a slice of cake (gone are the days when they would serve us biryani and a greasy curry and the famous rock-hard pia bun with butter :( ). I ate the sandwich and have been paying for my greed since Sunday in the form of numerous trips to the bathroom and acute nausea... ugh!

On calf-skin and epi-leather

I don't attend these parties very often but Mr. F has some friends in the upper strata of Pakistani society (mostly owners of textile mills and construction companies and their wives) and so, every once in a while, I suffer through conversations such as these:

"Is that the latest Louis Vuitton?"

"Yes, Z got it for me from America, and he got the Tivoli GM XY for my mother-in-law. I think I'll exchange it with her... she just stays home all day. I have to go pick up the kids from school, I need larger bags!"

The first roza was good Alhamdulilah. I was staying with my parents, so didn't have to worry about a thing :) (no waking up early to prepare sehri/planning iftar menu/cooking dinner).

Mr. F comes back tomorrow... I think I'm becoming too emotionally dependent on him so I need to find other activities to keep myself busy, otherwise, he'll get tired of me :p

His birthday's coming up... what do you get a guy who has everything? (keeping in mind, I'm a middle-income, working woman... otherwise, I'd totally get him a Ferrari ;))

What would you do?

Chutti time :) man, it's been a long week!

So people, here's a dilemma... Mr. F's traveling to India in September and to Spain in October. I wanna go too!! I could take 2 weeks off except, I've already used up all my leaves for the trips to Lahore (a couple of days here and there)...

Cons:

- Bad impression on co-workers and boss if I take unpaid leave and vacation for 2 weeks when there's work to be done :P

- Could affect performance...

Pros:

- I get to see India and Europe!!!!

- I have a Schengen visa (and visas are hard to come by when you have a leafy green passport)

What would you do?

Lahore Again!

Karachi closed down on Thursday after some psycho politician made some really antagonistic remarks about the Mohajir community...

I was expecting a mini-civil-war to break out or a situation akin to what happened when Benazir was shot in 2007, but the MQM leader "saved the day" and told the protesters to go back to their homes... Peace resumed.

I had a flight that evening and couldn't make it to the airport on time... after a series of delays, I finally (finally!) made it to Lahore on Friday evening... Lahore was beautiful! lush green and tranquil after the the chaos that is Karachi. Went to Yum (:P), it's a Chinese/Thai restaurant in Gulberg but Karachi's Fuschia is way better... Also tried English Tea House which is more "English" than the English themselves... They have pictures of the Queen prominently displayed on the walls and waitresses wearing frocks :p...

Mom-in-law dearest asked me no less than 8 times over a period of 2 hours when I'm going to have a baby (preferably a boy) because the last three grandchildren have all been girls... *sigh*