Father's Struggling to "have it all"

According to a certain someone, I'm not the sweet, generous, accepting Gaia that I used to be... And I think he's mostly right. I've grown a backbone and I've started to take a stand and not meekly give in to whatever capricious whim I'm subjected to.

I do believe in "keeping the peace" and I'm (usually) more than willing to listen to the other person but yes, I am a lot more "aggressive" now :-P. I'm not 100% happy about it... I've grown up in a very civilized home, my parents hardly ever raised their voices when speaking to us or to one another and I rarely remember them fighting. I had an idyllic childhood filled with laughter, good food, lots of books and family that was always there for me and while I would love to provide Baby M with the same comfort and security that I had as a kid, the father's got to play his role too.

Sadly, the scene below is all too common:

"A senior television executive is reading a bedtime story to his eight-year-old daughter. It is 10pm and he has just returned home from work. His phone rings – a work call – and he answers it, leaving the story unfinished.

His daughter shouts from her bed: “You’re a terrible father!” He returns to his daughter and tries to explain, with little success, why the call was important." 

Many men justify their long working hours as wanting to provide the best for their families. Work, however, offers psychological as well as financial rewards – it can be exciting, challenging and provide satisfaction from a job or deal well done. Family life can feel messier, mundane and even boring in comparison.

Perhaps, however, executives struggling with the issue should reflect on the old aphorism: “Work, no matter how stimulating and rewarding, will never love you back.”

What's Gonna Work?

Teeaam work!

I'm addicted to this:
https://www.google.com/search?q=what's+gonna+work+teamwork+song&aq=1&oq=whats+gonna+work+te&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

Can't post youtube videos because sadly, youtube is blocked in Pakistan :-P

11 Months

Although Baby M is a lot more independent now and only waking up a couple of times at night, I'm still perpetually exhausted :-(. I've accepted a part-time position at work (starting next month Inshalah) and I technically have a lot more time than I used to... I just don't get where the day goes!

Baby M wakes up at around 6:30/7:00 am and we usually play and cuddle for a little while. Then, I plop him on his potty and wait for him to do his business :-P (maybe I should put "potty-trainer" on my resume). Mashalah, he's growing up so fast, I wish I could capture each day and relive it over and over again... He's standing up on his own now and can walk holding on to furniture or my hand. He also makes a LOT of noise, specially when he's excited or frustrated. It's funny and I'm not usually that sentimental but I feel like I fall in love all over again when he smiles... and when I'm angry/sad/stressed, I just focus on my baby and my mood clears immediately. Alhamdulilah, I feel so blessed to have him in my life... 

Dear Baby M,

I pray for your health and happiness. As you grow up, I hope you develop strong faith and the ability to do the right thing. I pray that you will be compassionate, generous, trustworthy, respectful, intelligent and humble. I hope you will experience life to the fullest and enjoy each and every moment. And I hope you will continue to light up my life with your infectious joy.

Love you loads,

Momzie

We did it! we did it!

These days, our mornings begin with Dora the Explorer, Boots the monkey and Dora's cousin Diego as they go around the world helping people/animals in distress... I've learned about spectacle bears, river dolphins and rainbows and it takes me back 20 odd years when my brother and I would eagerly wait for Saturday mornings so we could watch Ninja Turtles, Manimal and Flash at our grandparents house.

Before satellite tv and cable came along, cartoons were one of the luxuries of toddler life. Thundercats, Pound Puppies and Denver the Last Dinosaur were much loved and eagerly awaited at 7:30 pm on weekdays on STN.

I guess Baby M is lucky to be able to watch a myriad of channels any time he wants... Nickelodeon, Disney, CBeebies etc. but he will miss out on the novelty/excitement about the little things that was so much a part of our childhood.... With all the options now available, it's no wonder that even one year olds are turning into jaded cynics :-O 

On Croup and Baby Doctors

I hope your child never becomes seriously ill in Karachi because medical services here are pretty awful. My siblings and I were lucky growing up. Mom being a doctor used to treat us and for anything mildly serious, her network of med-school friends would make themselves available at a moment's notice.

Baby M had mild fever for almost a week. The doctor prescribed ponstan and tylenol and it went away but came back again after a couple of days. His cough worsened and one night, the poor kid couldn't sleep as he coughed, coughed and coughed until he almost choked. We'd taken him to the paediatrician earlier that evening but she put it down to allergies... Turns out it was croup!

The doctor prescribed clenil compositum (I didn't know it was a steroid until I googled it later). I continued giving him steam and in the end, the illness ran its course. After many sleepless nights, Baby M is much better now Mashalah.

Sometimes, I question my decision to return to work.. It's tough juggling work and baby. I know family will always come first but it's going to affect my appraisal and at the end of the day, I know I'm going to feel pretty awful when my colleagues are getting promoted and receiving bonuses and I'm not :s

Should I continue working knowing I'm not going to be able to put in late nights and weekends, knowing I'll have to take time off to take my baby to the doctor or stay home with him when he's unwell and still feel guilty at the end of the day for not spending enough time with him?