Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Musings

So much has happened since the last post, it's hard to put it into words. Baby M is now big brother to Baby E and we are now a family of four. I will also Inshalah be graduating in a little over a month and we'll probably be heading back to Pakistan over the summer.

It's been a peaceful 2 years in New Haven (Alhamdulilah). Baby E arrived at 2:20 am in the middle of snow storm via c-section. I was shivering with fright as they wheeled me into the operating theater but the surgery itself was surprisingly painless even though I was awake through it. The recovery period took a lot longer and even walking was a chore for a few weeks but a month later, I'm feeling quite normal. Baby E came a week before his due date but he was only 5 lbs 5 oz (he'd been measuring small but the doctor's didn't detect it earlier) and was having trouble controlling his body temperature so they put him in a baby warmer in the NICU for a week so that he could put on some body fat before letting him come home.

The hardest part for me was leaving Baby M at home. Even though grandma was over to help out with the new baby and to help Baby M adjust to the change in family dynamics, I missed Baby M terribly and cried my eyes out when he'd go home after visiting me at the hospital. He would say, "Mamma, please come back to my house!" with tears rolling down his cheeks. He also got really sick when I was in hospital and I felt horrible for not being able to take care of him. My sweet little Baby M is suddenly grown up now and I guess all babies have to at some point but I'll miss his toddler days and our one-on-one time together. 

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Loss

I know I haven't written for a looooong time. I was just too busy caught up in the daily grind. Mr. F's traveling for work and his sister's here to provide backup support and watch Baby M while I'm in class. He's been gone for three weeks already and I'm rather overwhelmed trying to get my assignments done while managing groceries, trash, housecleaning and taking care of Baby M. Sometimes, I just want to curl up in bed with a good book and mug of steaming hot chocolate and lose myself in the world of fantasy... sigh.

So last week was full of highs and lows. I was experiencing shortness of breath and a heavy, nauseous feeling and also feeling really really tired, so I went to the health center and took a pregnancy test. On Tuesday afternoon on the way back from class, I started experiencing spotting and slight bleeding and thought I was just experiencing a late period. On Thursday, I got a call from the doctor informing me of a positive test. Turns out I was almost 6 weeks along! 

The bleeding and cramping got progressively worse that night and I guess the hormonal fluctuations were making me sad and tearful. Went for an ultrasound in the morning and it was "consistent with an early miscarriage." In retrospect, I probably should have taken it easy instead of walking 4 miles every day and trying to get everything done but it's too late now... "Surely we belong to Allah and to Him shall we return"

The baby would have been due on December 6th. I'll probably remember that date for a while...

It's funny how the life works. My SIL whom I wasn't close to at all was the one who was there for me when I needed someone by my side, not my mom, not my husband, not my best friend. Funny how tragedies can turn strangers into friends..

“There are some things you can't share without ending up liking each other, and knocking out a twelve-foot mountain troll is one of them.”   

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Pakistani In-Laws: Tact vs. Confrontation

We went to Pakistan for winter break and it was good to see everyone again, gorge on yummy food and attend lots of weddings! But one of the down-sides was having to "save" Baby M from his well-meaning relatives (grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles) who were bent on spoiling him rotten during the time he was there...

I guess I'm already a somewhat paranoid mom but when I returned from a trip to the grocery store to find that 18 month old Baby M had been taken for a drive with Uncle A sitting in the front seat, without someone holding him, without even a seat belt, my patience wore out. Even when we living in Pakistan, we always put Baby M in a car seat and never ever put him in the front seat. Apart from the fact that it's highly unsafe, it's also illegal.

Mr. F was away so I couldn't ask him to speak to speak to his A, so I asked his sister to call Uncle A and ask him to come back. God forbid, had something happened, I'd never have been able to live with myself... Except, everyone now thinks I'm super-arrogant and I'm also raising a mommy's boy... :p


Monday, February 3, 2014

New Haven Winter Wonderland

My fourth snowstorm this winter... Today, our car got stuck in the snow and we had to use a shovel to get the it out! It's a winter wonderland out there and I;m in love with the fresh, powdery snow coating the trees...

All I want to do is curl up on the couch with a blanket, a cup of hot chocolate and Mr. Darcy :)

Instead, I just put Baby M to bed after changing his diaper, feeding him cough medicine, applying Vicks on his back and chest and reading 'Welcome to the World' five times in a row :-P. Now, I'm working on an Econ problem set... Ahhh, the joys of grad school with a baby :)


Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Autumn at Yale

Autumn's my favorite time of the year. Here in New England, the leaves began to turn color in October - lime green, bright yellow, rich gold, auburn, crimson, burnt orange, rust and every shade in between these... Subhan Allah, it's so beautiful!

From green at the bottom to gold on top



Fall medley


My parents and sister came to visit for Eid while Mr. F went to Pakistan for three weeks. It was a peaceful, relaxing time towards the end but I couldn't really spend much time with Dad and sis as they were here for only a week because I was in the middle of midterms. I spent my 27th birthday in Harvard Square and met up with some Princeton peeps after a really long time. We had pancakes and waffles at IHOP... yumm!

Baby M and Nano bonded over the time she was here... Mashalah. The grandparent-grandchild relationship is so unique... you get to be a doting parent without having to deal with the meltdowns and tantrums :-P.

Mr. F got me flowers for my birthday and Mum got me some too so I put them together... Since this photograph, the other lilies have bloomed too!



Birthday flowers from Hubby and Mummy