Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Loss

I know I haven't written for a looooong time. I was just too busy caught up in the daily grind. Mr. F's traveling for work and his sister's here to provide backup support and watch Baby M while I'm in class. He's been gone for three weeks already and I'm rather overwhelmed trying to get my assignments done while managing groceries, trash, housecleaning and taking care of Baby M. Sometimes, I just want to curl up in bed with a good book and mug of steaming hot chocolate and lose myself in the world of fantasy... sigh.

So last week was full of highs and lows. I was experiencing shortness of breath and a heavy, nauseous feeling and also feeling really really tired, so I went to the health center and took a pregnancy test. On Tuesday afternoon on the way back from class, I started experiencing spotting and slight bleeding and thought I was just experiencing a late period. On Thursday, I got a call from the doctor informing me of a positive test. Turns out I was almost 6 weeks along! 

The bleeding and cramping got progressively worse that night and I guess the hormonal fluctuations were making me sad and tearful. Went for an ultrasound in the morning and it was "consistent with an early miscarriage." In retrospect, I probably should have taken it easy instead of walking 4 miles every day and trying to get everything done but it's too late now... "Surely we belong to Allah and to Him shall we return"

The baby would have been due on December 6th. I'll probably remember that date for a while...

It's funny how the life works. My SIL whom I wasn't close to at all was the one who was there for me when I needed someone by my side, not my mom, not my husband, not my best friend. Funny how tragedies can turn strangers into friends..

“There are some things you can't share without ending up liking each other, and knocking out a twelve-foot mountain troll is one of them.”   

3 comments:

  1. sad news :(. May Allah bless you and your family.

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  2. So sorry to hear of the loss... You be brave, girl. And tragedy does indeed make us close to strangers. Hope you're feeling better physically now. As a fellow mother, I know the other ache takes a while to go away. Lots of hugs and prayers

    Miss Specs

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