I took 3 months off in addition to my company's three month paid maternity leave so I could spend more time with my baby. I loved it and no, I didn't miss work at all... :D
I had no time to miss anyone or anything! Mr. F suggested I do volunteer work somewhere... he thought I'd be bored at home :-P...
Which brings me to the next point: Guys don't get it.
A baby is two full time jobs and more. In between b-feeding, diaper-changing, cleaning up drool, burped out milk, changing sheets and changing your own clothes, you barely get time to shower and brush your hair. When Baby M was a month old, Mr. F sent me to Lahore so Baby M could meet his extended family... There was no electricity, the temperature was somewhere in the mid-40s (degrees Celcius) and the generator had conked out. This was probably the lowest point in my marriage post-baby. Meanwhile, Mr. F was off traveling to Bali and Lausanne for work and I just became more and more resentful... Mr. F and I barely spoke for 2 weeks and I was really angry and miserable all the time.
Another major difference between Karachiites and Lahoris. When people in Karachi come to visit, they stay for half an hour... maybe an hour if they're close family or friends and they sit in the lounge or the drawing room. In Lahore (or maybe it's just Mr. F's extended family), guests walk in (right in to the bedroom!) without knocking. Never mind if a mother is b-feeding her baby and isn't really eager to have 4 other people watching her. Then, all the elders would come and press my poor baby's forehead and pinch his nose to make the head round and the nose thin (sar gol karna aur naak patli karna) :-P. I mean, really people, if God wanted my baby to have a perfectly round head and a pencil thin nose, he would have taken care of it... It made me super super-mad but again, I couldn't do/say anything without coming across as a really rude/arrogant wife/mother.
When Baby M would cry (all babies do!) his well-meaning relatives would feed him everything from home-made remedies to medicines for adults... Again, I could only stand by and watch hoping and praying Baby M would be ok. Yes, I am a new mom, a paranoid new mom but that doesn't give anyone the right to tell me how to raise my child.
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I hope you got through it along with Baby M in one piece.. :)
ReplyDeleteTough times, definitely. Try visiting for shorter periods of time maybe.
Hello,
ReplyDeleteI started reading your blog when I was getting married. I can relate so much to you, I am a mother to a 3 months old son now.
To this day I have problems with people feeding my baby anything, pinching his nose and getting all unwanted advice. Since I live with my inlaws, I have started to put my foot down. It is still difficult to tell my inlaws to not put finger in his mouth.
LOL Poor baby M :-P welcome to the tribe of human :D
ReplyDeleteHi Anon, at the end of the day, it's your kid and you are responsible for his well-being. And if God-forbid something does happen, you will be the one spending sleepless nights taking care of him and eventually you will be blamed for not taking good care of the baby. Either way, you can't please everyone all the time!
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